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Preparing to be assertive!

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lighter:
Tupp:

I'm so proud you

just

said

NO.

OK, you fretted a bit first, but we usually fret, and say YES!

Amazing revelation about how we sabotage ourselves, and how we can stop: )

Congrats,
Lighter

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: Green Bean on September 17, 2013, 06:18:10 PM ---Yah, I get it, when I had $, I sometimes went to this lady massage therapist. I would fold the sheets up after the whole thing. She would tease me about it. She would say, "you are so polite!! Nobody ever folds the sheets"...

It's just the way we are, always hyper-vigilant that we will offend somebody or encroach or inconvenience somebody else. BECAUSE we were taught that we were inconvenient so we try hard not to be... We are used to not being number one.

--- End quote ---

Green that is exactly it, hyper-vigilent describes it so well.  I go over and over things from every angle, every possible way and I just hadn't realised how much.  I bought a torch yesterday and it doesn't work.  I was going through umpteen different scenarios in my mind and was on the verge of not taking it back to the shop and just buying another somewhere else.  But then I realised what I was doing so I'm taking it back today and will just let them handle it.  I think that's part of it, as you say, being so used to having to be responsible for other people's thoughts/feelings/responses - I don't know what it's like to let other people deal with what you hand them rather than it being the other way around?  How funny.

Lighter - thank you so much.  So funny how these things suddenly become so obvious to us.  So yes, the fretting is still there but progression, not perfection, yeah? :) xx

Meh:
LOL, I work in customer service, people return stuff all the time. As long as it was recently purchased like it sounds that it was, just say "This is a defective item return, I want a replacement please". Or refund.

It's like a one line phrase hon.  :) Good luck!! (hugs)

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: Green Bean on September 19, 2013, 12:07:39 AM ---LOL, I work in customer service, people return stuff all the time. As long as it was recently purchased like it sounds that it was, just say "This is a defective item return, I want a replacement please". Or refund.

It's like a one line phrase hon.  :) Good luck!! (hugs)

--- End quote ---

Hi Green, I know, it's silly, isn't it?  I took it back and they changed it straight away, the second one doesn't work either so I'll take that back, too!  It's just this over thinking thing, I'm scared of my own shadow these days but it's getting better with these little things, I think just noticing it sometimes can help as well?

Meh:
ya, I know what you mean.

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