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My brother and just life and stuff

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Meh:
Minutia:

I just unload my minutia here, nobody asks me how my day was when I get home, my room mate was already retired for the night and I got home at 9:30 Pm, after doing time consuming errands after work. Ate some Jalepeno potato chips, made some salad.

Had to go to a group meeting at the temp-to-hire call center job where I am at. At first they said "you are doing customer service, we don't expect you to do sales",...now it's "you are supposed to be doing sales"....."we don't care how long you talk to a customer"...and there are people who walk around constantly telling people to do more chats while they are also on the telephone and setting up returns etc. etc. Some woman claimed that she was ....(something missing from sentence) peshe? called back to somebody else in the call center, I was already talking to a manager about it--then the second call center person walked up to the manager about the same customer...

I better go to sleep, was gonna type something else though now am tired.

Meh:
It's Sunday night, today I didn't do a whole lot, I went to a thrift store and after not really finding much that I wanted or needed was tired, sat down ate a sandwich and came home and took a nap for about 2-3 hours I think, woke up did some laundry and hand-washed some blouses and such. My room-mate probably thinks I am nuts, I have realized that hand-washing clothes is very out of the norm for most people.

Was thinking yesterday how stone-washed jeans became popular during my life time, cell phones, internet, etc.

Tonight my mother called me and left a message since I didn't hear the phone ring somehow. I texted her only this "I got yr msg"...then she called immediately and started saying she needed me to help her and how....people had said they thought it was a bad idea to make necklaces for the children with ashes in it. I guess one of the kids requested that IDK.

I told her I didn't want to talk about ashes and stuff....It's already dragged out the discussion of ashes and urns, and where the ashes are going to go and with whom.  She then asked me how the job was going, and I said I just want to eat my dinner. Then she was just kind of disgusted with me. She also sent me an email trying to get me to pick out urns for the children and stuff.. I'm not even sure if the children should have that stuff, I think a photo album might be better. She also asked me if I want to scatter ashes with her here, I guess because I am not going to go to the funeral. I don't want to, I feel like it doesn't matter. I just don't want to think about it right now.

I've already told her that my hair has been falling out etc. etc.

She already knows from previous conversations that the job I am doing sucks, that I still don't have any dental/health insurance and that I am not saving any money.
The only reason she called is because she wants me to do something for her.

It doesn't matter anymore. She said "I only have one chance to get it right".....LOL well, it's a freaking funeral. Think something didn't go right already.

I might sleep soon, it's like I have got stress exhaustion that wont go away.

Life just seems massively overwhelming, with nothing ever really getting fixed.

Meh:
Again, I am just very tired that is all, but I started sipping my sleepy time tea, and it is 10 PM here so it really is time for me to sleep soon. I was gonna come here and biotch because my mother's "side-kick" (my aunt) sent me an email that says how I own my mother more...and my dead brother blah blah blah...but I am way too tired to even complain about it in detail like I usually do.

I'm suppose to be doing something more but I am so tired, I find myself not really stopping until 10 PM at night and still I don't seem to be getting enough stuff done.

Had one important phone call to make, tried to do it on my lunch break but couldn't get through the line. So that didn't happen. Which sometimes happens, the planned things don't work and the unplanned things take over.

Hopalong:
((((((((((((Boat))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((Bean))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((((((Buddy))))))))))))))

I have been thinking so much about sleep.
It's part of what I do for work, to read and write about it.

I know it's a mighty healer.
I hope you can get more sleep.

Grief can be exhausting, flattening, gray, heavy.
And piercing, sweet, shocking, beautiful.

It is very tiring.
On top of a tedious job?

Things ARE getting fixed in your life, though...they ebb sometimes.
But what a different place you are in, my friend. You really have
come somewhere. You are not over. You are not done. It is still happening.

For you: 
--- Quote ---http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/8052.Pema_Ch_dr_n
--- End quote ---

I think any of her books would be a comfort. Or I hope so.

love
Hops

Meh:
Thanks Hops

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