Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
I would like your advice on a situation regarding helping someone.
Meh:
Well Two, I am sure it helps her just to know that somebody cares enough to listen and understand.
I would say just listening is enough.
We don't always know what resource is going to be real help.
She might have an opposition to authority figures. Or if people have never received real help they don't trust in the concept. Or maybe the situation is not what she is describing it to be.
Well since we don't know what her problem is it's hard to start saying if therapy will help. Therapy is more of a support than a cure in most situations in my opinion.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Green Bean on November 08, 2013, 10:16:52 PM ---Well Two, I am sure it helps her just to know that somebody cares enough to listen and understand.
I would say just listening is enough.
We don't always know what resource is going to be real help.
She might have an opposition to authority figures. Or if people have never received real help they don't trust in the concept. Or maybe the situation is not what she is describing it to be.
Well since we don't know what her problem is it's hard to start saying if therapy will help. Therapy is more of a support than a cure in most situations in my opinion.
--- End quote ---
Yes, Green, I think you are right. I've been thinking about it over night and think perhaps neutral, opinion and suggestion free support is probably best. I think she needs proper help (and quite a lot of it) but we need to want the help for it to make any difference; I can't do that bit for her. A listening ear and a cyber pat on the shoulder.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: BonesMS on November 08, 2013, 06:09:12 PM ---I'm hoping Dr. G can weigh in, soon, so we can have his perspective on this as a professional therapist. You and I have basically functioned as crisis interventionists, which is WAY different from being a professional therapist.
--- End quote ---
I did realise last night that one of the volunteers at the sports group we go to is a psychologist so I'll have a chat to him about it. I suspect the responses (as Green's has been) is to listen and do no more. I think she needs a lot more help than I can give her and I think I'm in danger of over stepping the mark and need to take a step back and be more objective.
Twoapenny:
Phew! I am feeling mightily relieved! I spoke to the psychologist I know; his feeling is that the young lady in question has trust issues and isn't able to cope with face to face meetings with people or deal with her problems at the minute (which I can relate to enormously!). His feeling is that anonymous, online support is as much as she can handle and is therefore what she needs, so he thinks if I'm happy to keep being a friendly ear then that's enough. I'm very relieved, I was worried that I was making things worse but he thinks I'm probably giving her all the help she can actually deal with at the minute so not to worry about it. His only concern was that I might be taking on too much but he said he's happy for me to chat it through with him every couple of weeks so I'm not dealing with it all on my own. I feel much better about it all now and the added bonus is that it's one of the few times I've asked for help in the real world and got some! I usually get knocked back so this has really helped me as well as, hopefully, helping her in some way. So thank you everyone for all of your advice and input, it's been a really big help and I feel much better about everything now :)
BonesMS:
--- Quote from: Twoapenny on November 09, 2013, 02:47:03 PM ---Phew! I am feeling mightily relieved! I spoke to the psychologist I know; his feeling is that the young lady in question has trust issues and isn't able to cope with face to face meetings with people or deal with her problems at the minute (which I can relate to enormously!). His feeling is that anonymous, online support is as much as she can handle and is therefore what she needs, so he thinks if I'm happy to keep being a friendly ear then that's enough. I'm very relieved, I was worried that I was making things worse but he thinks I'm probably giving her all the help she can actually deal with at the minute so not to worry about it. His only concern was that I might be taking on too much but he said he's happy for me to chat it through with him every couple of weeks so I'm not dealing with it all on my own. I feel much better about it all now and the added bonus is that it's one of the few times I've asked for help in the real world and got some! I usually get knocked back so this has really helped me as well as, hopefully, helping her in some way. So thank you everyone for all of your advice and input, it's been a really big help and I feel much better about everything now :)
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