Hi Everyone,
I always feel guilty coming back when I haven't been on in a long time. I miss you all and think of you often and can't tell you how much you have helped me over the years. Life is so busy being back in Japan, kids are in sports and older, working, trying to take care of myself.
I want to tell you my story from the past few months... I will keep it brief... although there is so much...
My dad retired about two years ago. He was so happy to be home after working so hard (basically to fund NM being at home and buying crap from QVC and filling the house floor to ceiling with junk). He gardened and fished as well as he could considering he had gotten quite heavy. But he loved being home. A few weeks after retiring, he found out he had cancer - myeloma. He was actually glad at first, because it seemed treatable and he wanted to feel better. Instead, he got sicker and sicker. And my mother treated him like crap. When he was in the hospital, she would go sometimes, but made it clear she was bored. If anyone said anything, he defended her, though. It was awful. I went back and spent a few weeks and am glad I did, but wish I had stayed the whole summer. When he died, my sister and mother and BIL were with him and my sister was holding onto his lifeless body and NM said, "Come on. Let's go. He's gone." She said that twice. Of course she ran home to call insurance and get all the money she could right away.
The funeral was my mom's grand party. She had a blast - center stage.
She is moving away now - to be near her sister and "have fun."
My sister will not accept that my mother is rotten and mean still. She made a promise to my dad to look after NM. What a joke! NM never goes to see my sister even when she makes plans around her and skipped her granddaughter's bday (my niece) to go to a scrapbooking convention. She never calls the grandkids and thinks they are annoying. And yet my sister still makes excuses. My sister waffles between being upset and covering for her.
I loved my dad so much. And I am heartbroken over everything - the fact that he saw his situation clearly at the end, the fact that he never lived as he wanted, that he died scared and alone. I am really having a hard time.
My NM is trying to be buddies now and I can hardly talk to her... there is more... I will bore you with it later, but I needed to get this out. I am cutting contact as much as possible, but my grief is so deep.
Thank you for listening.
Beth
