Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Recent deaths

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Hopalong:
((((((((((((((((((((((((Lighter))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Tsunamis...

of love and light.

Hops

Izzy_*now*:
(((((((((lighter))))))))))

love
Iz

Lupita:
Dear Light,
You have been for me too. So in a way it is a boomerang. As Dr Phil would say, celebrate all the thousands of day they were alive and not dwell in the one day they died. I know, easy to say but very difficult to do.
I would say, I love you and if there is anything I can do, let me know.
Praying for you and your strength to endure pain, and for better times to arrive.
Love,
Lupita 

lighter:
OK....

though it appeared my mother wouldn't last more than hours or perhaps days at the most, she's living up to her nickname... The Come Back Kid.

No, she's not likely to recover.  She's not likely to live months, or years, but she's here, now, and she has touching lovely moments with the people who love her.   Every day, she's had wonderful, loving moments.

She has a quality of life that's amazing, and she's fighting hard, still.

Very briefly, I want to warn everyone about selecting a Hospice Service.  They aren't all the same, and anyone who needs their services needs to interview several, and get your terms up front.  The patient has rights, and they should be observed as long as their capable of asking for what they want.  The family should be respected, and their wishes should always be respected.  We've remedied a very bad situation, actually we're very lucky my mother survived it. 

Get your understanding in writing.  Make sure everyone's on the same page.  Make sure they aren't going to deny all comfort measures (including fluids) to your loved one, or yourself.  Get it in writing, whatever your wishes are, bc there are very good people out there doing very wrong things with good intentions, but in our case, very harmful intentions.

So, I get to hold my mother's hand tomorrow, and comfort her, and continue to laugh with her, and help give her the best possible death when her moment comes.

This morning mom was clean, sitting up, eating, and enjoying her favorite tv show..... just like Christmas: )
Lighter
ps  Is anyone surprised to hear that the first hospice service was a nightmare that almost killed my mother?  Honestly, I'm still gobsmacked it happened, but ready to just go back to making Mom feel safe, and comforted.

Twoapenny:
Oh Lighter I'm so sorry that this is happening to you, you must be such a comfort to your mum and I'm glad you got the hospice sorted out (I've heard amazing stories and awful ones, so difficult to deal with these things when there's so much else to cope with).

Thinking of you, lots of love xx

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