Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Apoeal Court ruling
Twoapenny:
Lighter I'm so glad you've won (again) but so frustrated on your behalf as well, to have all of this hanging over you for no reason other than other people's belligerence is crazy making. You are dealing with it all with such good grace and humility. A true testament to your character and an amazing example to your kids.
I hope that the next step(s) pass quickly and with as little fuss as possible. Thinking of you and your kids xx
Hopalong:
Do the grandparents have any visitation, Lighter?
I wasn't sure how that shook out.
If they do, do you manage the feelings okay?
hugs
Hops
lighter:
Thanks, Tupp, and no, Hops. The GP don't have any visitation.
In fact, there was a protective order in place during the custody hearing, and they were denied any visitation during the Grandparent Visitation Trial, with expert testimony speaking to the facts.......
it's detrimental to the children to have unsupervised visitation with the GP.
I've offered supervised visitation for years, but it's become apparent to everyone, esp the Judge in the Custody Trial, these GP don't want anything to do with my children if they can't drag them under the stairs, in private, without any supervision.
It's not the visitation they want.
It's having the children behind closed doors.
Sad, and the children weren't really aware of it until the Custody Trial. At that time so much information had to be shared with them, bc of their entire summer was spent in psych exams answering questions asshat strangers were throwing at them.....
there was little I could do to protect them from the reality.....
their GP have abandoned them, and are dead set on harming me through them.
At the time of the custody trial I withdrew the offer of supervised visitation. I couldn't pretend the GP might calm down, and focus on the chldren's best interest after all they pulled in the custody trial. They really upset our lives, and the childrens' routines, and most traumatic to us all, they made it impossible for me to shelter the kids any longer from the truth of what the GP were doing.
I think the children will have to grieve the loss of the paternal side of the family at every major landmark of their lives, and that grieving process will likely never end. They handle it well, but it's a very sad situation I have zero control over. You can't force someone to be appropriate around children.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: lighter on October 25, 2014, 03:00:44 PM ---Thanks, Tupp, and no, Hops. The GP don't have any visitation.
In fact, there was a protective order in place during the custody hearing, and they were denied any visitation during the Grandparent Visitation Trial, with expert testimony speaking to the facts.......
it's detrimental to the children to have unsupervised visitation with the GP.
I've offered supervised visitation for years, but it's become apparent to everyone, esp the Judge in the Custody Trial, these GP don't want anything to do with my children if they can't drag them under the stairs, in private, without any supervision.
It's not the visitation they want.
It's having the children behind closed doors.
Sad, and the children weren't really aware of it until the Custody Trial. At that time so much information had to be shared with them, bc of their entire summer was spent in psych exams answering questions asshat strangers were throwing at them.....
there was little I could do to protect them from the reality.....
their GP have abandoned them, and are dead set on harming me through them.
At the time of the custody trial I withdrew the offer of supervised visitation. I couldn't pretend the GP might calm down, and focus on the chldren's best interest after all they pulled in the custody trial. They really upset our lives, and the childrens' routines, and most traumatic to us all, they made it impossible for me to shelter the kids any longer from the truth of what the GP were doing.
I think the children will have to grieve the loss of the paternal side of the family at every major landmark of their lives, and that grieving process will likely never end. They handle it well, but it's a very sad situation I have zero control over. You can't force someone to be appropriate around children.
Lighter
--- End quote ---
Gosh, Lighter, I can identify with so much of that! Both my mum and my son's dad wanted to see him but only on their terms and without me being around. I offered supervised visits to his dad, who didn't want to know if he couldn't just turn up when he felt like it and do what he wanted. Similarly, the last contact I had with my mum was about eight years ago now (at this point I didn't know about any of the false accusations she'd been making) and I offered her two days a month with my son and gave her first dibs on the days she picked (keeping in mind he was in school so it would generally have to be a weekend). The last text I ever sent her said let me know which two days you want as I have other things I need to arrange around it and that was the last I ever heard. If she couldn't be in complete control she didn't want to know.
It's so hard having to explain the bad things to them (and hard for them to understand) but the alternative is having to deal with the effect that being around them would have, which would be so much worse. I'm glad you're over this hurdle and hope things start to settle down for you all now xx
teartracks:
Lighter,
Hold on tight to the things you know are right. This and all the misery that has lead up to where you are right now has been a tough row. One I probably would have not been able to navigate. One day when all is calm regarding the matter with the court, the grandparents and the children, you'll be able to look back with a huge sigh of relief and knowing you did your best. If I were your child, I'd be grateful that I had a mom like you.
tt
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