Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Apoeal Court ruling
Hopalong:
I'm so sorry you feel they have malignant intentions toward the children.
It's heartbreaking all around.
:(
Hops
Gaining Strength:
Just wanted to say I'm sorry to read about your difficult struggle. I hate it for you and the children.
lighter:
--- Quote from: Twoapenny on October 26, 2014, 11:04:25 AM ---
Gosh, Lighter, I can identify with so much of that! Both my mum and my son's dad wanted to see him but only on their terms and without me being around. I offered supervised visits to his dad, who didn't want to know if he couldn't just turn up when he felt like it and do what he wanted. Similarly, the last contact I had with my mum was about eight years ago now (at this point I didn't know about any of the false accusations she'd been making) and I offered her two days a month with my son and gave her first dibs on the days she picked (keeping in mind he was in school so it would generally have to be a weekend). The last text I ever sent her said let me know which two days you want as I have other things I need to arrange around it and that was the last I ever heard. If she couldn't be in complete control she didn't want to know.
It's so hard having to explain the bad things to them (and hard for them to understand) but the alternative is having to deal with the effect that being around them would have, which would be so much worse. I'm glad you're over this hurdle and hope things start to settle down for you all now xx
--- End quote ---
Tupp:
We wanted our children to have relationships with GPs, and their fathers.
It's a terrible thing when zero contact is less harmful.
BTW, did all the false complaints against you get sorted out, and are you able to get all the services you need for your son?
Lighter
lighter:
TT, GS, and Hops.....
thanks for the support and kind words.
It's all going to be OK, even if it's not OK, all will be well.
Hops, you aren't saying you're sorry "I feel" there are "malignant intentions," right?
Lighter
Twoapenny:
BTW, did all the false complaints against you get sorted out, and are you able to get all the services you need for your son?
Lighter
[/quote]
No, and no :) As we all know, you have to keep a balance in your life - dealing with the day to day, looking after your own health, just being 'normal' - and then there's dealing with 'stuff'. I contacted a lot of agencies regarding my mum but there's not really anyway of stopping her making harmful accusations - anyone can make an anonymous call reporting suspected child abuse so it just isn't possible to find a way to stop her from doing that. Services for my son - everything for disabled people has been cut back to the bone here in the UK, they're making the most vulnerable pay for the greed of the bankers who gambled billions in dodgy investments and the large corporates who avoid paying taxes. So even getting him a decent medical assessment is difficult at the minute and there's little chance of getting much else for him.
So I did as much as I could - every agency we're in contact with is made aware of the situation, I've corrected every set of old records I've been able to. Some is with solicitors, they're doing their thing and I just wait to see what they come back with. I'm focusing on keeping myself healthy and making my boy as happy as I can (he told me yesterday that being at home is 'awesome' and that's good enough for me - I spent my whole childhood scared of my own shadow and wishing I was home alone). You pick your battles, right? Things are calm, stable, I feel better than I have done for a long time. I still feel angry when I think about all the damage that's been done but I think only time can really heal that feeling. I protected him, then and now, and as a mum I think that's as much as you can do? You can't always keep them safe (as you know!), other people can wreak havoc, but I think as long as I do/have done my best to fight for him then I've done the best I can. He's fab :)
So I hope you get to a point where they can't make you have to stand your ground anymore. That's what's hard, I think, times when you've no choice but to stand and fight, and those times when you can walk away and leave them to fester in their own juices. Hopefully they're running out of options now and there will come a time when there's no more legal wrangling they can come up with. You and your girls deserve that peace :) xx
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