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Pondering

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Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: Hopalong on March 16, 2015, 02:38:13 PM ---Thanks, Tupp.

I decided my intuition was that this was his nature was strong enough to not drag it out. I really appreciate that after all this practice, I feel much more comfortable making decisions than I used to.

I wouldn't be happy with someone who has trouble showing interest in what I have to say. He just can't focus enough to listen. Wrote him a compassionate note about it, but did explain "What I really needed was for you to talk less, and show interest in what I had to say, and I sense it was a struggle. I understand, because you're recently heartbroken [his marriage ended and he acknowledges not being over it] and trying to find your balance. But I'm not the one for you. We both have interesting histories and strong personalities and I can't be a happy supporter or friend without reciprocity. Best wishes..."

He wrote back a very pleasant note saying he understood and appreciated my candor and that I was perceptive. And that if our paths ever crossed again he knew he would still like me.

No harm done in either direction and another positive date experience. Don't regret meeting him at all, he's quite interesting. And neither one of us sought to hurt the other.

All good. Farewells are okay.

Hops

--- End quote ---

Good for you, Hops, what a great way to deal with the situation, open and honest but kind and caring at the same time, that is a skill I need to cultivate.  It's good when things are left nicely, just feels better than some nasty row or having to hide if you bump into them.  All good experience too, which is something we all benefit from.

On the subject of friends...........................one of my major difficulties is that a lot of the people I know don't respond to my texts or phone messages, to such an extent that I gave up contacting some people because it would be months before they got back to me, if at all.  I found the sense of rejection and the sense of not being important enough to them for them to reply too difficult and painful to deal with and I just stopped risking it.  On top of that I've found it very hard to make new friends, partly because I just don't meet many people that I get on well enough with and partly because part of making friends is having to make a move, as it were, and risking being rejected again.  It's just been too hard and the last two years have been incredibly lonely as a result.  But...................I've been using a forum for a while now and have chatted to a few people i've enjoyed talking to and have managed to meet up with a couple of them and have an invite to look in on another when I'm in their area over the summer.  I have all their numbers but haven't made an effort to contact them (for fear of being ignored) but this afternoon something came over me and I sent a few text messages out and ended up having some nice chit chats through the early evening with these new people.  It just felt like a really good step in the right direction, plans have been made to all meet up over the course of this year and I am feeling like my person people situation finally seems to be moving in a different direction which feels really nice.  Moving forwards rather than backwards or not moving at all, if feels like a nice change :)

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