Back again...

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Hi everybody,

Finally (after 7 months), I have some time to come up for air.  To those who sent their “well wishes”, I want to thank you again.  I’ve decided not to pursue my “autobiography.”  What I was going to do was write it in the standard psychological way... then tear it to shreds and re-write another version.  The new view would have reflected what I have learned over the past 35 years of sitting with others—and myself—and then talked about what most people need in the therapy office.  This (what most people need) is, of course, something I never found, and in hearing what other people experience in therapy offices, something that simply is not available.  It centers, of course, around people being alone and voiceless in the world.  It is the healthy, loving attachment between two people (therapist and patient) that makes lives better (yes, the therapist’s life is better as well!)

But I can’t write the first version because 1) it is too boring for me, and 2) because telling the truth potentially hurts people I care about, and not telling the truth (even from a distorted psychological perspective) has little value.  (I still have Chekhov’s plays on my office desk as a reminder of his advice to writers:  “Tell the truth.”)

So, at some point, I will reflect upon all of the above and write it in a different form.  I’ve just started to think about this, but I’ll keep you posted.  In the meantime, on to another topic…

Richard

[Hopalong]

That sounds like such a wise decision, Doc G.
You've liberated yourself from many hours of re-experiencing the awful failure of hollow therapies...

I wonder if there's a novel in you?
A story of someone unheard who was hunting for that healthy, healing connection, and hopped through a few therapy efforts without finding it, and then found someone like you?

(I always hate it when other people tell me what to write about though.) 

warmly,
Hops

[ann3]

Congrats, Dr. G!
I think figuring out what we don't want to do is as important as figuring out what we do want to do.
Like Hops, I don't want to tell you what to do, but sounds like you're having a dilemma about form: "standard psychological way" vs. "another version".
If you want to write (and you do not have to write anything at all if you don't want to), maybe don't worry about the form, just write what flows or dictate into a recorder?
Your post made me think of a book that I love: "Notes To Myself" by Hugh Prather.  I discovered it in my T's waiting room and it sang to me.  It's written in a kinda prose poem melange.

PS:  Speaking of Chekhov, this is a nice collection of BBC plays: http://www.amazon.com/Chekhov-Collection-Platonov-Proposal-versions/dp/B0013D8M4O/ref=cm_cr_pr_pdt_img_top?ie=UTF8

[BonesMS]

I understand.

I think creative writing is a better alternative ... possibly a fictional novel?

[lighter]

Doc G:

The only way I know to approach these things is to spend 8 hours brainstorming all the obvious ideas OUT of your head.   Just vomit it all out on the pages.  Read it, then vomit some more.

Edit, and brain storm another 8 hours.  Repeat until you have a few ideas worth investing time into, then spend another 8 hours on each, edit, and start again.

Eventually you're in a place beyond the expected.

Some place that provides an unexpected viewpoint, and maybe more than one. 

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

Lighter

[Meh]

Well writing a whole scientific? autobiography only to be torn up would be a de-motivator. Why not begin with that part that is going to be kept, grasp onto the area that was most compelling for you and make it the core, and build around that point pulling in the other pieces as needed. Or do whatever you feel like doing which appears to be taking a break from it

[Worn]

Lighter, I really like your way of distilling what's really worth writing about.  I'm stealing this next time I need it.  

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Dear Hops, ann3, Bones, lighter, Garbanzo, and Worn,

Thank you all for your encouragement and suggestions!  

Since your posts, I’ve thought about all of them:  a novel (Hops and Bones), a prose poem (ann3—I’ll take a look at the Prather book…), the autobiography as I would write it today (Garbanzo), or brainstorming the obvious ideas out of my head (lighter—I enjoyed the idea of doing that!).  And ann3, thank you for your idea and encouragement on the “Voiceless in the doctor’s office” thread: writing a book in the style I have been writing here.

I’m not sure yet in what direction I’m going to go.   I have long been convinced that the book I’m interested in would be best written from the other side of the room, i.e. the patient side, showing, via thoughts and feelings, the slow evolution/brain changes that are involved in going from being alone in the world to feeling heard and understood—in essence, going from one to two.  I have never read a therapist’s book that captured this process adequately.  Sure, one can talk about “attachment,” and even how one goes about achieving it—but to me it never feels real because I am never in the room watching in detail how it happens.   And certainly, the relationship between patient and therapist is all in the details, many of which are subtextual.

Which brings me to another point and another reason why it’s so hard for me to write a book on the subject.  From the therapist side, I’m not sure it’s a job for which graduate students/residents can be trained.  In a sense, one either has the ability to make this kind of relationship or one doesn’t.  And very, very few people have the ability.  It took almost a decade (my 20’s) to throw out most if not all of the training I did have.   And in the course of interacting with 100’s of therapists in the Harvard Medical School system/ Mass. General Hospital, looking back, there was not one who could have helped me in part because the training they did have got in the way of who they were.  So, if such abilities are largely born in/genetic, what is the point of writing a book no one can learn from?  I’m overstating things here, perhaps, but often I have this thought/feeling.

I’ll stop here for now…

Richard

[Hopalong]

Ahhh. I didn't realize your aim was a book that would CHANGE things.
No wonder you feel such a burden to get it right.

I think you'll do better if you EJECT the idea that you are writing this book to change things.

Instead write it to share experience and tell a human story**!
I love the idea of therapist-as-patient-narrator.

Unique. That's not been done, far as I know.

I'd say just go for it in whatever inside-YOU voice you are ready to hear.
That voice will do the narrating. (You just type.)
And then you'll find out (rather than pre-decide) what kind of a book it is.

**Literature changes things. The voice that comes from the story.

BTW, I just read an extraordinary book about voiceless people.
I can't imagine a more-apt title to recommend to you right now.
Here it is:
http://www.amazon.com/Untouchable-Scott-OConnor/dp/1935562509/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427503904&sr=1-10&keywords=untouchable

luck,
Hops

[lighter]

Doc G:

I'd like to see a book that follows many patient's journeys...... early experiences leading up to the decision to seek T, and how that works out...... the T's POV and history as well.  Perhaps some experiences of people in the main character's orbits that provides expanded understanding of how pd's effect entire groups, and organizations, the good and the bad.  I'm particularly interested in following the responses of the third party entity, and how that plays out in the lives of the main characters.  

If the information gives society the vocabulary to help identify, and name, their most confusing experiences, that would really be amazing.  

Ignorance isn't bliss, and pd's flourish in the dark.

A book/play/screenplay that sheds light, along with providing entertaining characters we care about, might be just what the doctor ordered, IME.

Lighter

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Ahhh. I didn't realize your aim was a book that would CHANGE things.
No wonder you feel such a burden to get it right.

I think you'll do better if you EJECT the idea that you are writing this book to change things.

Instead write it to share experience and tell a human story**!
I love the idea of therapist-as-patient-narrator.

Unique. That's not been done, far as I know.

I'd say just go for it in whatever inside-YOU voice you are ready to hear.
That voice will do the narrating. (You just type.)
And then you'll find out (rather than pre-decide) what kind of a book it is.

**Literature changes things. The voice that comes from the story.

BTW, I just read an extraordinary book about voiceless people.
I can't imagine a more-apt title to recommend to you right now.
Here it is:
http://www.amazon.com/Untouchable-Scott-OConnor/dp/1935562509/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427503904&sr=1-10&keywords=untouchable

luck,
Hops

Hi Hops,

Thanks for your comment!  I have no pretense about changing anything in a major way.  In the 20th century, Freud "changed" clinical psychology/psychiatry--Freud's beliefs were certainly what I studied both as an undergraduate and graduate student.  And now, his influence is almost nil.  Sadly, I was cursed and ostracized in graduate school and training/working in MGH/Harvard Medical School psychiatry when I wondered out loud about Freud's beliefs/theories.  Those who could control their temper asked:  "Why do you have to be so critical?"  And I would think to myself:  "But this is academia--not religion.  Isn't that what one's supposed to do, ask questions?"  Of course, what directly followed was my interest in voicelessness, e.g., not being allowed to question the in-vogue theorist's ideas.

So, I'm not interested in change on that scale.  But what if a book I wrote could change the treatment of even one person by a therapist--from something inadequate or even destructive to something life changing?  Of course it would have to be read by a therapist who had a similar brain to mine and who had not quite put things together yet.  That is my main book writing goal--and if it happened to make a difference in two people's lives, that would be amazing!

And yes, it would be much better told and far more convincing from the patient's perspective rather than having me or some other therapist "authoritate" on the topic.  So, we'll have to see what form it takes.  I may use some of your's, lighter's, and others' strategies to try to come up with something that might work.

And if it's a good read and touches other people--well, even better!

Thanks again for your suggestions--I'll take a look at the O'Connor book...

Richard

[Dr. Richard Grossman]

Doc G:

I'd like to see a book that follows many patient's journeys...... early experiences leading up to the decision to seek T, and how that works out...... the T's POV and history as well.  Perhaps some experiences of people in the main character's orbits that provides expanded understanding of how pd's effect entire groups, and organizations, the good and the bad.  I'm particularly interested in following the responses of the third party entity, and how that plays out in the lives of the main characters. 

If the information gives society the vocabulary to help identify, and name, their most confusing experiences, that would really be amazing. 

Ignorance isn't bliss, and pd's flourish in the dark.

A book/play/screenplay that sheds light, along with providing entertaining characters we care about, might be just what the doctor ordered, IME.

hhaw

Hi lighter,

Thanks for your comment.  A book/play/screenplay that follows multiple people's, and also third parties' experience of therapy change would be very interesting!  Unfortunately, I'm not sure I have the talent or the patience (I have the patients----but those precious stories I would never tell...) to do it.  10 minute plays may be my limit!  But I'll definitely give your ideas some thought...

Richard

[Gaining Strength]

Which brings me to another point and another reason why it’s so hard for me to write a book on the subject.  From the therapist side, I’m not sure it’s a job for which graduate students/residents can be trained.  In a sense, one either has the ability to make this kind of relationship or one doesn’t.  And very, very few people have the ability.  It took almost a decade (my 20’s) to throw out most if not all of the training I did have.   And in the course of interacting with 100’s of therapists in the Harvard Medical School system/ Mass. General Hospital, looking back, there was not one who could have helped me in part because the training they did have got in the way of who they were.  So, if such abilities are largely born in/genetic, what is the point of writing a book no one can learn from?  I’m overstating things here, perhaps, but often I have this thought/feeling.

I have read this thread only to the point which I quoted above.  Ironically, you have the gift of giving voice to the voiceless.  And it is even more valuable because it stands outside the form currently proffered in academics and (therefore) practise in most of the US today.  But the form that could generate change is the novel rather than a directive or an autobiography.  

Of course I have more to say to flesh this concept out but I am completely out of time.  But I will finish this thought -not because my point of view should dictate to you but only because I see how valuable your voice can be to the countless voiceless, both lay and professional.  And I suspect there are many professionals feeling so bound by the strictures who would find themselves free at last to be true to themselves and their patients/clients.  The novel form gives freedom to bring many voices and a variety of perspectives untethered by the  structure of realism.

[Hopalong]

...what if a book I wrote could change the treatment of even one person by a therapist--from something inadequate or even destructive to something life changing?

Oh that would light a star that had nearly guttered out.

What an absolutely beautiful reason to tell this story.

Hops

[Gaining Strength]

I've opened a can of worms for myself. But I'm going to go ahead regardless

In the 90s I had the great privilege to take courses under the great american philosopher Richard a Rorty.  He called himself an American Pragmatist and was a great celebratory of the novel as a tool to reveal truth of a time. Rorty saw that the novel was free of constraints which burden non-fiction.  Without such restraint the novel can use sentimentality to move people and make change.

Here is an excerpt that points to his views in part: