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Grey Rock Method

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Ales2:
Another great technique, thanks Sea Storm

Emotional Override
Medium Chill
Grey Rock
Whats next?
Anything else?

Sticking this in my organizer planner.... all very helpful, thanks!

Meh:
What pops into my head though is that if a person is always needing to defend themselves against a constant element that means one becomes a permanent gray rock = losing oneself, its like the very definition of voicelessness. I guess the assumption is that it only needs to be used on a rare occasion. Reading this makes me want to escape. Escape the gray rock, throw the phone onto the receiver so the other person hears a dead end tone. Well shrug. I'm not very good with relating though, I just want a break from relating but somehow I'm also just plain lonely. Who knows maybe I should explore gray rock and employee it towards customers.

Hopalong:
Boy do I understand that, Boat.
Artists and strongly creative people have a terrible time doing gray rock.
Or many do.

I feel for you.
And I'm trying to do better at it myself, especially at work.
Unfortunately, the particular toxicity at my workplace requires that one
be fake-sweet, not just neutral or professional. And the sweetness has
to have an evangelical energy to "count." Ugh ugh ugh.

More on that on another thread.

I do hope if the gray rock can help you during the workday, you'll try it.
Nobody can extinguish your inherent worth. Period.

hugs
Hops

sea storm:
Very interesting chat about being a gray rock. It is not easy or enjoyable being a gray rock and it is creepy for creative people to go to this semi zombie zone. I hadn't thought about what it feels like to turn off in that way. it certainly has its down side ie. voiceless.
Even though it  feels strange, I think it is a very good place to know about. To know that there is a way to dodge the psychological body blows of envious narcissists.
It is hard though. The alternative is even more self destructive. Just being good, competent, intelligent and is not safe with disordered personalities. This triggers something in them and they just have to rob the good person of their beauty. ENVY. All this happens in a split second, the decision to destroy.

I don't know about anyone else but I don't have the psychological resources to deal with a narcissist, let alone a pair of them who are gleefully targeting me. I do know what it feels like to be trapped in a job or a marriage with them. Thank God I found out what was happening and found a name for it. Basically getting out seems the best idea, but short of that  gray rock is a good resource. I may be tempted to play in the arena with the drama but at least I know I will get eaten by the lions.  The article that Hops mentions is excellent.

Sea

Hopalong:

--- Quote ---it is creepy for creative people to go to this semi zombie zone
--- End quote ---

Oh boy. YES. (And for non-creative types too.)

You'll prolly appreciate my new totems on my work desk.

I have a gray rock (see? I was listening) and on the other side, a fragment of a wasp's nest I found.

In between, I have a little card that says "remember your INHERENT worth and dignity" which is
the First Principle of Unitarian-Universalism. I feel somewhat "less religious" than I have in the past,
but that principle (the inherent worth and dignity of every person) still works well for me.

So I got my gray rock as a reminder, and the wasp's nest as another (Nboss)...and my core
principle to repeat to myself.

It's oddly empowering! I see this little tableau all the time every day, right in front of my monitor.

 :D

Hops

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