I've been thinking about changing my username! And you actually said it right there. I go by Journey on a couple of other sites. I don't want people to find me here but I feel like Journey is a common enough username to be safe. What do you think? Should I ask for a change to Journey? I have a hiking stick that is also a bo staff. It is one of my prize possessions. It has the word journey carved in Japanese on the handle. My sister, my biggest fan, support, and best friend, gave it to me for my birthday. I think Journey would be awesome.
Wow!!! We have worked on my place three times now. Have put in about 15 hours of work. My back is sore from my neck to my feet. We've cleared most of the living room and 3/4 of the dining room. I have boxes packed for when I move. I've got most of the stuff I'm currently using stored neatly in bins/etc. My friend and I make a terrific work team. We've always talked non-stop when we're together. She's my second biggest fan, support, etc.
So when we're working we also have fun talking and laughing. But she's also a beast when it comes to working. She sets a goal, puts her head down and gets it done. Right now I'm sitting on the couch with my back door and front windows open. I can hear the birds singing and feel the cool breeze. My two dogs are snoozing. It's a beautiful spring morning. I have not been able to open my back door for at least 3 years until last night's cleaning session. This is beyond wonderful.
There were a couple rough patches this past week. An emotional phone call with my sister. She was worried mostly about things that haven't happened but might in the future or things that can't be changed and were done years ago. She was also worried that I wouldn't be able to get this job done. I haven't shown much, if any forward movement with cleaning this place until now. I have been working actually pretty hard on getting emotionally ready to do this. But she can't see that part, heh. In times past I would have been most likely to shut down and not speak when faced with her worries like this. But this time I spoke up through my tears and told her that I was taking care of things and that this would get done. And I meant it. It felt really good to be able to speak up like that and to then be able to work through some pain with my sister. Some things are just harder to talk about because we do care so much for each other.
The other rough patch was right after the phone call with my sister. My friend and I, on the phone, got into a 'no, I'm right'-'no I'm right" kind of conversation and I decided that I'd had enough for the day and it was time to rest. I took a nap then called her back. We were supposed to clean that night but I cancelled and told her I was too tired, the truth. She tried to pretend the small argument hadn't happened but I pointed it out and we worked through it. One of the goals I'm working on is speaking up for myself more often. This was a really good week for me on that. I have actually spoken up for myself with two other people this week as well.
I am exhausted and I ache in places I didn't know existed. I had physical therapy this morning too but my pt didn't work me too hard. Mostly did stretches and warm-up. But this pain aches so good! This place is starting to feel like a house again. I'm starting to feel like I can stretch my arms out. Starting to feel more free.
Journey
