Hi all,
It has been a long while since I have visited the board. After after many years and much wrestle and fight with my own deeply entrenched shame, aggression, hatred and unconscious desires for superiority and more, I have finally matured like good wine into mellow calm and loving spirit, my ego is more right size and I can tolerate N's, and even dare say love them. I can see the good and beautiful in others. I find myself less reactive in general. All addictions have vanished, including my long struggle with smoking, which I used to often write about here. I am free on so many levels.
However, God or life seems to put N's in my path, perhaps because selfishness and moral relativity is rampant in our society? Who doesn't have a N co-worker, family member or friend who we have contend with from time to time? For me, in the past living and dealing with N's provided the opportunity for triggers; awareness and healing by original pain work with forgiveness as the goal in mind to work towards. Now N's provide me with the opportunity for selflessness, patience and the practice of not flinching when the become aggressive covertly or otherwise.
I still rent rooms in my apartment and from time to time I get N roommates, mostly younger women who have an ingrained sense of entitlement. Generation Y. Need I say more. How did society raise a generation of entitled kids? Anyway, it never ceases to amaze me how much projection the N's dish out.
The last N roommate would not let me speak, literally. I was not allowed to express my voice albeit concern or general emotional honesty. She was opportunistic and manipulative. I was charmed by her when we met and then treated with contempt after she moved in and got what she wanted. I need to learn to spot the N's better and listen to my gut.
Through all, because I know myself better, I was able to maintain composure and strength, until recently when I showed my anger over her dishonesty.
Why can't N's handle negative mirrors and emotions of others?
The good news is I stood up for myself and stood my ground as gracefully as possible, and she moved. She couldn't handle the mirror truth I was holding up to her that her N traits are the problem, perhaps?
Gabben