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Daughter in Law from Hell like alsmot psicho

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Lupita:
Lighter,

yes. You are right. My son got an arhitmia cardiac caused by the stress this woman provokes in him. yes, he wants to keep the peace at all costs. he does not want to have to pay child support or that she spends all the time with the baby and not give him to us if they divorce.

Yes, he just wants to keep the peace.

She wants more kids but so far he has said he does not want more kids. That is the only thing he has stood up to her and I think it is pretty big.

Also, her mother used to live with them. She lived with them for six years and he recently asked her to send her to her borther's house which she did of course blaming me for that. She said that day that I was the source of all her problems.

So I understand that if I put up with her I am helping my son. I do not put up with her becasue of her, she is evil and sick. I am doing it ofr my son and ofr my grand baby.
Even when he grows up he will have nice memories of me and he will visit me in my hospice when I am old. I hope. That is all I want from him. To visit me when I am bed brethen at 90 or more.

I am glad I can discuss with you because after discussing with you I get a different prespective that makes me feel less victim. Let us keep the discussion, please, it helps me a lot, even if we have to repeat same information. It helps me to sink in my brain.

I am not doing for her, I am doing it for my son and to cultivate the love of my grand baby. To create memories that my grand baby can have after I pass away some day. keep talking to me precious Lighter.

lighter:
Lupita:

I'm glad you feel a bit better.  Of course you put up with the DIL for your son and grandson.  No other reason to do it.

I think it's empowering to know what we're dealing with.

It's important to anticipate intended and unintended consequences of our choices.

Better to rise above, and look down on our situation... gain some emotional distance before we react to the pd, kwim?  Flailing about when we're emotionally triggered is never a good place to make decisions, IME. 

Are you journaling?

Still dancing?    I hope you're dancing, Lupita.

Have  you considered adding long term care insurance before you're 70yo?

It's good to be engaged in things you love. 

It's good to put plans in place for the future.

Your grandson loves you.  You're filling his little heart with important things he'll carry around with him his entire life. 

THAT's what this is about. 

Show him how to be happy, LUpita.  Show him you have a rich life, how to navigate difficult people, and how to overcome. 

He'll be dealling with his mother longer than you will.  What will he learn about that from you?

((((Lupe))))

Lighter

Hopalong:
Hi Lupita,
I'm glad Lighter has waded in with you and is helping you deal with the surf.

I just want to send you my good wishes too.

love
Hops

Lupita:
Thank you so much Lighter and Hop.

I am feeling better.

She knows she will never get from her mother what my son gets from me.

Today when I got up she asked me if I was going to play in a recital today that she knew I was going to play at two pianos with my son but she asked him not to becasue trick a treat is a family day. So she asked me if I was going to play and I said my son did not want to play and I do not want to play alone. She know of how much pain she causes.

It affected me ofr ne hour. I am content now.

Learning.

lighter:
Awwww.... Lupita:

I wish your grandson and DIL had gone to see daddy play piano with Grandma, then hit trick or treating together or vice versa... however it worked out timing wise.  That seems a perfect afternoon/evening to me.  

Good for you, taking this in stride.

Lighter

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