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Dr. Richard Grossman:
Carly Simon has a new memoir out, “Boys in the Trees,” and, not surprisingly, narcissism and voicelessness (barely able to get words out) weigh.  The Washington Post—Geoff Edgars—had this piece on it:

"These six tragic revelations from Carly Simon’s memoir will make you ashamed to be a man (if you are a man)"

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/arts-and-entertainment/wp/2015/11/20/these-six-tragic-revelations-from-carly-simons-memoir-will-make-you-ashamed-to-be-a-man-if-you-are-a-man/


All comments are welcome…

Richard

P.S.  Thanks to my brother, Jeff, for sending the article my way...

mudpuppy:
Guilt isn't collective.
The guys who mistreated her should be ashamed of themselves, but why should I be ashamed on their behalf?
Some of her choices seem less than stellar; she married a junky and he didn't treat her well. Quelle surprise!

mud

Twoapenny:
I still find the way we repeat early relationships through our lives fascinating.  I know I've done it myself for years, and have now been in a 'relationshipless' phase for a long time as I've not met anyone new that I feel I can have a healthy relationship with.  I used to feel a lot of anger at men who have treated me badly in the past but these days I think I was really more angry at myself for not having better boundaries or a level of self esteem that meant I wouldn't tolerate or be attracted to men who treated me badly.  I 'think' my self esteem is better these days; I don't feel an urge to be with men like that anymore but I've not actually been in a relationship to test it out.  I'm not sure I entirely agree with the 'name and shame' approach in memoirs of famous people as the other person hasn't usually been given a chance to put their own point of view across (after all, I think people who treat other people badly have usually been treated badly themselves - it's possible that some of the men named were themselves a product of an unhappy childhood or abusive behaviour at some point and that was how they dealt with it).  It doesn't excuse things but I think it makes the situation more complicated.

Hopalong:
If you're sensitive or justice oriented, sexism and powerlessness can grind down your heart like an iron file.
Having more sex unfortunately doesn't reduce sexism.

Hops

lighter:
I think the only men who should be shamed by Carly's story are the men responsible for the behaviors in the book. 

Of course, those types of men aren't the sorts to feel shame, IME.

Lighter

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