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Job Hunt -- what it takes

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Meh:
:) Well you certainly got your feet wet in the job searching arena in a big way by going to that interview. I find that interviews are a reminder that it's a big world out there. We all need that reminder sometimes I think (I know I do need that reminder). Good luck Hops. I hope you find something that suits you and is more nurturing or at least has better personalities than the last Narcissistic boss guy. You are so likable, I'm sure it's just a matter of time, cast the net. Throw the jerk fishes back.

I know personal budget and economy forces us to do stuff. Hopefully something good will come out of all of this though.

Hopalong:
Thanks, everybody.
Just got to keep plugging away day by day, being sure I sent in at least one application a day, and forge ahead.

I can't afford to think about how much UNemployment there is, just keep my focus on my upcoming EMploy.
And to remember that compared to many people in the world, most even, I am an incredibly fortunate person.

Que sera, sera.

xo
Hops

Hopalong:
Hi folks,
I'm kind of staggering through the weekly job applications to qualify for unemployment payments. I find it so daunting I can't explain it. Partly the sheer exhaustion of filling out form after form, not having a home printer, the complexity of the online applications and the very very very detailed requirements that make one application "count" and another not. It's like my paperwork phobia just got put on steroids.

I have an urgent need to get organized and without the structure of a daily job (even the one I loathed), my ADD is rioting and I am struggling to function. I'll get a second wind, but wanted to express that here.

On the better-news front (I hope), I did see an employment attorney and he has sent a "counter offer" to Nboss. If Nboss would like me to go away and never say anything publically negative about him or the company, he should agree. It was a bit more than double what he offered (a little over 6 months' salary) and the attorney mentioned "considering the value of her claims" we felt it was appropriate. Those "claims", he stated as, "She was integral to the growth and success of the company for eight years, and at the same time was subjected to unequal pay in comparison to comparable male coworkers, and was subjected to bullying and intimidation." Seeing those words from an "authority figure" was balm. (Reminded me of when the judge stopped Nbrother in his tracks.)

None of this means that I will wind up with: 1) one cent, 2) his initial piddling offer, or 3) anything else.

But it did feel good to act in my own behalf, even though the outcome could stink. Nboss is vindictive and loathes me passionately now. On the other hand, I shared with the attorney a very long email from the CEO (private to me) which acknowledged in detail the bullying I'd been subjected to and how Nboss abetted it and made it worse, and how he didn't know how I'd stood it. I feel sorry for CEO's naivete in writing me that, but given that he dropped me like a hot potato, I think he will have to cope with the fact that I have that in my quiver.

Leaves him in an awful position of not wanting Nboss to know that HE (CEO) was once on my side...but I'm afraid that's the situation he's in. If he is able to prevail over Nboss's venom and irrationality, hopefully they'll come back with a better counter. When I first lost the job I thought I wouldn't want a penny of Nboss' filthy money, but now I know I really can't afford to turn up my nose at it.

The last possibility is that Nboss would refuse to offer me a dime in severance but at the same time "vigorously fight" (his quote) my unemployment benefits. He believes that because he "wrote me up" (an orchestrated depiction of me as "not getting along with people" which really meant his son) -- I don't qualify. But a labor attorney told my other attorney friend that if they state "restructuring" in a termination interview (which he did and CEO is my witness)...then I do qualify. It's not about being "liked" but about the legal rights. We'll see.

Anyway, worst case is I get no severance and Nboss fights my unemployment, but I can also have an attorney present at the hearing, and I think I'd prevail.

Ugh to all of it. Just wanted to vent.

love
Hops

Twoapenny:
I echo your "ugh", Hops.  Hooray to freedom from that man but the reality of paperwork, form filling and other tedious but somehow unavoidable chores does take the edge off things a bit.  I'm very glad things with your employment attorney sound positive, though, and it is always nice when someone 'official' validates your experience, as you say.

Re paperwork and form filling, something that helps me with those mountains is to break things down into fifteen minute chunks.  That always seems easier to me to manage and I usually find once I get going I can get through it with less effort that I thought it would take.  I don't know much about ADD, though, so don't know if that would affect any kind of particular approach?

The thing I did think of as I read your post (and feel free to ignore it completely if it sounds daft) is a meditation I've been doing about dealing with anxiety.  I have found it so helpful I can't tell you, very painful at first, letting out a lot of old hurt and anger, but I'm feeling some quite profound changes from it now and am trying to do it everyday.  It's on YouTube, read by someone called Jason Stephenson and it's called 'a Guided Meditation for Anxiety - The Magic Book' (I just put in meditation for anxiety and it was on a whole list that came up).  I'm finding it really helpful and it's about fifteen minutes long which I find is enough for me.

Other than that - can only say I'm thinking of you and hoping that this hideousness is rewarded by a good job with nice people sooner rather than later xx

sKePTiKal:
Wow Hops... sounds like the lawyer thinks there's a case here. I don't know what to tell you or what we should hope for, for you, from that. It's been my (limited) experience, that this method of coping with malevolent azzholes most of the time, simply continues the agony of having to deal with them and their universe. (see: Lighter's ongoing encounters). It takes a lot of strength, endurance, and a surety of oneself... a confidence... to see something like that through. Sometimes (maybe not in this situation) the possible benefit isn't worth the agony. It was certainly worth it, taking on your Nbrother. I simply don't know.

My method has usually consisted of fleeing as completely as I can, and trying as much as possible to land on my feet. That hasn't always worked out the way I planned it either.

But the bit that I can really relate to, is the ADD problem and well, the paperwork. I'm pretty well buried in paperwork too. And it would appear that this one corporate entity is going to be a thorn in my side. Right now, I'm just trying to breathe my way through that one and not make it worse by getting upset that according to them, I'm not following their rules... but, of course, they're not even telling me their rules... until AFTER I've done what I think is best. Grrrrrrrrrr. Going to delegate that one, I think.

On a more personal, experiential level:

Your daily routine... the touchstones of each day have changed as much as mine have. And in both cases, they were externally determined - be at work at such & such a time, feed Mike every 3 hours, that kind of thing. When the external expectation is removed - it's just fine at first. But later on, the vacumn begins to be noticeable and well... what should, or does, a person want to fill it with? Some of us kind of flail our way through that; others know just what they want; and the rest of us are blindfolded, trying to fumble our way through the discovery process to figure out what works for us. Social interaction of some sort helps us see the possibilities, too. I think there just might be time in your (and my) exploration process for new external "controls" on the minutes in our lives... to at least check out free exercise classes or book clubs or something.

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