Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Understanding People
Gaining Strength:
Yes. One good friend is worth everything. It is definitely not the numbers.
And those deepest wounds from our parents, especially our mothers, mold us and shape us. I think almost everyday how I long to turn to my mother, get her advice, put my head in her lap, receive nurturing, kindness, encouragement but it is such a crazy, crazy fantasy because she never did that when she was alive. So I don't just miss it because she is dead. I long for that love because I am a human being. That is my grief but everyday I do try to pour that love into my child and that is such a gift.
I know that feeling of being invisible. It still haunts me in my dreams.
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: Gaining Strength on March 08, 2016, 11:03:00 PM ---Yes. One good friend is worth everything. It is definitely not the numbers.
And those deepest wounds from our parents, especially our mothers, mold us and shape us. I think almost everyday how I long to turn to my mother, get her advice, put my head in her lap, receive nurturing, kindness, encouragement but it is such a crazy, crazy fantasy because she never did that when she was alive. So I don't just miss it because she is dead. I long for that love because I am a human being. That is my grief but everyday I do try to pour that love into my child and that is such a gift.
I know that feeling of being invisible. It still haunts me in my dreams.
--- End quote ---
Oh I know that feeling, GS, that gap where the love was never there and that longing for it is sooooooo so big. My mum's advice was always so awful! I never knew until I got a lot older and gained my own experience but her whole view of the world is really warped and as such, all the things she recommends you do are really off key as well. She's not learnt anything from her life, is the way I see it - head in the sand, her own view, nothing else touches it and as a result she's in her seventies and she's literally no wisdom to pass on.
It does give me great comfort to look at my son and to see that he is so much more confident, relaxed and sure of himself than I ever was at that age. I've kept him safe, too, and I'm so proud of that. I was so scared that history would repeat itself and he'd be abused like I was but that hasn't happened and now that he's older I feel like I can relax a little bit. We can mother our kids in a way we were never mothered and I don't know about you but I've found that very healing? x
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