Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
What gives you your sense of self worth
lighter:
Amazing work, Tupp. Your T sounds amazing, and it's fulfilling to read about your process, and progress.
The sea change in outcomes you created for yourself. The shift from protecting your mother to protecting young Tupp, and of course you protect your little sister too. It was so satisfying to read. I could feel empowerment and strength in your post.
(((Tupp and little sister)))
BTW, I started to write an update on this thread for you, but I keep getting sidetracked. Apologies my friend. I'm also trying to avoid jinxing the settlement agreement (allegedly) in the works. I'll believe it when I see it.
Education for me is in the healthcare field, but every plan I make is dependent on the legal stuff. You know how the toxic N's operate... they say one thing, get you leaning in that direction, then do the opposite.
::shrug::
I'm resigned to whatever happens...a settlement or another forced trial. Either way I'll make peace with the outcome, and know there are pros and cons to each.
My girls are doing fine. I love DD15's new T..... truly, I do.
Lighter
Twoapenny:
Hops and Grits, thank you so much, yes, she is a good fit, I really like her and feel very comfortable with her. She's direct and to the point which I really appreciate and find easy to work with. I have felt quite tired all week but I do feel a little bit less restricted in myself? I can't quite explain it but one example, for years now, ever since I was a kid, I've always had a list and the things I need to do are always timed in some way. More than one therapist has said it's a control thing and it helps make me feel safe but it's not something I've been able to drop successfully (and I stopped trying because I don't think it's a terribly damaging thing to be a little bit OCD about writing things down). This week I've just not felt the need to do it so much; I've jotted things down so that I don't forget them (shopping, for example), but I haven't felt the same need to structure the day and include everything I need and want to do in a list somewhere. Might just be coincidence but I am hoping it's a sign of things to come :)
Lighter, I will keep things crossed that a settlement is reached. I don't doubt that you can cope with another trial if you have to but it would be lovely if you didn't need to :) Healthcare sounds like an amazing field to step into; I've always found the best practitioners are the ones who have been through very, very tough times and have found ways to improve their health through their need to cope with a huge amount so I don't doubt that would be an amazing thing for you to develop!
Glad that the girls are doing so well :) My boy is exceeding expectations at the moment and walking a little bit further each day. He's showing improvements in thinking for himself as well which is something we all like to be able to do, lol.
Keeping fingers crossed that future paths are smoother for you all :)
sKePTiKal:
Sigh... ((((Big & Little Tupps))))...
Yup. That is a significant exercise to go through with your Self. There is treasure there. And closure... a type of letting go. And there is also a shift in relationship with your Self.
This is all really huge and really good. Results aren't seen in a drastic sudden change in your life, though. It's little things that will accumulate and grow over time, as you get to know "you" from this new place.
Oh, and the internet dating thing? I heard something in your description. A whisper of trying to force yourself into fitting into some pre-defined set norms... that generally go by "shoulds". There's probably some "wants" in there too. Sometimes it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. We humans are allowed to "wing" it with that kind of stuff and make it up as we go along. ;)
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on July 24, 2016, 07:02:29 AM ---Sigh... ((((Big & Little Tupps))))...
Yup. That is a significant exercise to go through with your Self. There is treasure there. And closure... a type of letting go. And there is also a shift in relationship with your Self.
This is all really huge and really good. Results aren't seen in a drastic sudden change in your life, though. It's little things that will accumulate and grow over time, as you get to know "you" from this new place.
Oh, and the internet dating thing? I heard something in your description. A whisper of trying to force yourself into fitting into some pre-defined set norms... that generally go by "shoulds". There's probably some "wants" in there too. Sometimes it's hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. We humans are allowed to "wing" it with that kind of stuff and make it up as we go along. ;)
--- End quote ---
I've abandoned the internet dating, Skep, because I've realised it doesn't 'fit' me, lol.
It has really helped me to work out what I want in a man, because that's a question I've struggled to answer over the years, probably due to spending so little time doing what I want rather than what other people want. But the kind of guy I like is someone I would best describe as a 'hippy'. Not the dope smoking, living in a commune sixties type hippy but someone who is loving, compassionate, self aware, who prefers to be outdoors rather than indoors, someone a little bit different and outside the system and who is more interested in people than stuff. I've not come across anyone like that internet dating, lol, so I'm just focusing my attention on doing more of the outdoors, off the wall stuff that I like to do in the hope that someone like me turns up! :)
lighter:
Tupp:
Meeting someone will likely happen when you least expect it in a way that you couldn't see coming, IME.
If you embrace your passions, maybe join some groups who DO things you love to do..... who knows? Maybe your chances of increasing the odds for making like minded friends will surprise you.... in a good way; )
It might feel good to research the groups and activities in the area you plan to move to...... just to get a feel for possibilities, and what's available?
It's always good to read that your son is doing so well: )
Light
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