Mom beats teenage daughter

[Ales2]

A Mom punished/disciplined her teenage daughter on Facebook and made a video that she also posted on Facebook.  Here is the article:

>http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/27/us/mom-beats-daughter-facebook-live/

>(Video can be viewed in its entirety on Facebook)

I saw the video. Its graphic and disturbing. But what was more disturbing was the ending where the Mother, who seems like a train-wreck herself, uses profanity and street slang to explain her actions.  More appalling than the video is the number of people who side with the Mother claiming this is a form of discipline that will save the child from future harm and raise a responsible adult.

Thoughts anybody?

[Hopalong]

I could not watch that.
I wondered what kind of fear, abuse and sexual shaming that single mother experienced as a child that taught her this was "mothering."

My heart broke for them both.

It was abuse, of course. A terrible story.

But I also believe she fears for her daughter and loves her in the only way she knows how. She needs help and education and support -- as does her child. The child needs to be protected first and foremost. But they both need help.

Hops

[Meh]

When I watch the video all I am reminded of is that life is tough. Some people have some kind of ideal upbringing other's don't.

I can't see what exactly her mother hit her with looked like she had some white thing in her hand at the start.

Facebook and social media is kinda BS as in cow pie.

I don't really understand the logic of her mother posting a video of a beating. Maybe she wanted to show that she was controlling her daughter. Maybe the mother wanted attention.

I mean if I was a parent and my daughter was making sexual videos in my home that would be really bizarre to deal with.

In my imagination kids pick up a lot about modestly and relationships based on how their family behaves, though who knows.

Okay so what I think is weird is that this hits the news for some reason. There are these cute kid vines on youtube but some of them are weird like fathers watching their young kids doing dangerous things and video taping it instead of reacting. Why are they not on CNN? Maybe they didn't go viral. The world is one band wagon maybe idk.

Maybe it's really hot where they are at but I couldn't help notice how short the mother's shorts are and her tank top. Then again my co-worker says she participates in some slut walk where she walks around in her underwear to promote the fact that women shouldn't be judged based on what they wear.

Some parents do not censor themselves in front of their kids, the kids just grow up promiscuous or something.

I mean we also now have a culture of young people who commonly talk about having "fuck buddies".


There was a video of a father who bounced an infant off a bed so another guy could catch the kid, it's pretty weird seeing men treating kids like footballs.

This isn't even the video but it's similar, it's an older child:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UD3qeK8bHcI

[sKePTiKal]

I won't go look at the videos... but from Garbanzo's good description, my comment would be:

Projection much, Mom?

Sadly, my one D pretty much has the same blind spot about how her lifestyle & moral choices impact her kids. She is better than she was -- however, the damage has been done and the chickens are starting to come home to roost. If she ever posts a video similar to this... both D#2 and I will completely stop speaking to her or have anything to do with her and will reconsider removing the kids from that home. Again.

But I think she is beginning to realize that it wasn't her sister's or my job to parent her kids and that we DID try to get through to her, the consequences of her choices and how that would affect the kids. And it is now not our problem to fix... although I will go so far as to make it possible for the kids to get the help they need, to someday, hopefully help them fix themselves. If it's not too late.

ETA:
OH... and I think the whole video and sharing stuff like this with the world, is partly a cry for help (being overwhelmed) on Mom's part but also a really warped defense mechanism against shame & humiliation. She herself has plenty to put right in her own life, is my guess.

[Twoapenny]

I've not watched it as those sort of things upset me but I think physical punishment is still deeply embedded in many cultures and even in ones where it isn't now it was until relatively recently.  Certainly when I was a child (I'm in my 40s now) beating your kids was considered normal if they'd done something wrong and I can remember a boy in my class at school coming home with me one afternoon because his dad had given him such a hiding that morning that he didn't want to go home.  Caning was still a punishment at school and it was very common for a teacher to lob a board rubber at your head or clip you round the ear if you did something you shouldn't.

None of that makes beating kids okay but when something has been not only acceptable but actively encouraged and considered the correct way to do something it takes a terribly long time for that to change I think.  I don't think parents get enough help with teenagers who, in my opinion, need more help and support than toddlers do because they're going through puberty, learning, making mistakes, mixing with kids who are doing all sorts of other things and it's a tough time to navigate for both parent and child.  In the UK there's a huge (over bearing and inappropriate, in my opinion) focus on very young children and an awful lot of groups and educational settings, but once they get to 11 everything vanishes and people are left to muddle through incredibly difficult things without any help or support.

I do believe mountains of support is what we all need at all stages of life; places where you can get good quality advice, a warm smile, and understanding ear and a decent cup of tea.  I think that would help people who are struggling to manage their own problems better and not to project them onto their kids, and/or create more problems for their kids by doing something like that to them.

I really don't agree with all this sharing on Facebook stuff; privacy's really important and I don't think publicly humiliating people is a good way to go about dealing with something.