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ART - all my feeling about it right now

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Meh:
I would almost make non-thinking art to spite that aspect of my mind that wants to over think everything

Meh:
wallowing in despair soup isn't going to accomplish anything or could be that there are a few things that need to get off my chest idk

Meh:
So much for writing. My attention is split in too many directions. It's sort of a cold night here, doing laundry listening to fire works in the distance, I should probably go look for them. I guess I will go now.

Lots to hear but nothing to see from where I am at.

Today I looked at some local meet up groups on line. Sort of playing with the idea of trying them out.

Meh:
Made it into the city today for the purpose of another art intake outing. Went well enough. Made it to only three galleries, which is really quite enough. There are more though I would have to get an earlier start on the day, always plan to leave but then I am slow in the morning so I get out of the house late.

There are some galleries in a crappy part of town, always homeless and lots of druggies out and if you read or listen to the news it's the area where a lot of crap happens. It's worth navigating and circumventing, rather walking straight into and through it. I'm such a wimp, it's really a bit of a deterrent. Why oh why must art galleries be in the shittiest neighborhood.

So next weekend perhaps I will make it there.

Today I stuck to the three. There were paintings, ceramics. Not sure what I am looking for. Think I am trying to just enrich myself after a void. I get a bit of enjoyment out of art, it's not the visceral spine tingling response I used to get.

Also looked for public art around town, lots of large outdoor sculptures in the city to be found. I'm definitely moving away from paintings into a different interest, can't quite put my finger on it.

my mind wants to get all tangled up and involved, judge and protest, even now I am telling my messy brain to relax, just experience without expectation :)

Meh:
Day after which was Sunday made plan to meet coworker for a museum. Arrived and a young woman came out to greet us immediately handing complementary tickets for a future visit because the museum was closed. Inquired why and she didn't appear to be free to tell us the details, perhaps toilet sewage over flow, a death in the facility, my imagination wonders. The outside of the building looks like the facade is decorated by leak stains waterfalling all around the perimeter of the building. So another day for that outing. Trying to gauge if there is any noticeable change to my spirt, soul, depression, intellect. Certainly I still feel totally worn down on the inside. Makes me wonder how worn down I really am on the outside.

Alternative idea was to go to a botanical garden we had not been to, so it was a day of a minor new discovery, had a nice visit to the garden, wasn't floored but then again I am hard to impress. It was nice to get out and socialize. The impact of socializing only lasts me about one day though, the next day I am back to feeling rather lonely again. The event was slightly under stimulating to me for some reason, I almost feel that I must focus on the other person I am with rather than enjoying the place. Considering that maybe company is for cafes and bars. Maybe next time we will just go out for coffee. It didn't occur to me that I walk fast and furious and other people don't. I can change my pace for others yet maybe I am finding the need to separate me time and together time differently. I almost have to go to a museum hours prior to meeting up with someone so that I can more thoroughly take in everything without being distracted. Am already looking forward to next weekend to start.     

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