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Tools support group

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Twoapenny:
Well done to you for giving it another go, Ales, as it does sound very frustrating, although a part of me is hoping some big lightbulb or breakthrough moment will occur (I've no idea what, though!).  Do keep posting about it if you can, I'm very interested in hearing how this goes for you (and hoping something good comes out of it for you!).

Hopalong:
Me, too.

RESPECT for your choice to override the escape impulse.

May it bring you a gift you need!

love
Hops

Ales2:
Thanks for both your comments!

sKePTiKal:
Mind if I butt in?  ;)

The move has obviously dominated my every waking moment for days on end now, and I'm feeling I need to touch base with my inner self for a bit. The concept of having a well-stocked "toolbox" to deal with any challenge - creative, interpersonal, relationship, etc - works well for me. But I trip over terminology/definitions a lot.

Is the "inner authority" what another older creative block system called the "inner critic"? Lord help me, I can't remember her name off the top of my head, but it was a pretty well-known process 20 years ago. She even had an online support group. I have creative goals and desires from this move; they were buried under the sheer amount of stuff, details, and challenges of physically moving it all.

Trust, all by itself, is a pretty big issue no matter how it's connected to what you're trying to work on. I was glad Hops brought that up - along with the issues connected to boundaries/feelings of self too. I would add in, resistance, as well... which for me is strongly connected to fear. Not just of failure, but success, too.

As for this group and whether it will be "worth it" to give your time to it - it sounds like it's one of those things you can't really decide until you get to the end of the group. Perhaps you only get the one insight or tool to add to your toolbox or to work on further. But I wouldn't reject it until you have more information/experience with it. The funny thing about "rejection" I've noticed about myself is that a lot of what I feel is "rejection" or people just not "getting me" is...

really ME, jumping to conclusions and a quick judgement about other people before I even give them a chance. And I think PART of that, is I'm finally allowing myself to dislike some things - to choose and discern what it is I want to participate in; and the kinds of people I want around me, in my closer in circles.

We CAN gather our own "custom, collected toolbox" from more than one source too. I think that helps build resiliency; the abiility to take a failure in stride and bounce back to try again.

I'll shut up now. That's just some observations I've picked up different places trying to do something similar to what you want to do, Ales. When you get a chance, I'd like to hear more about your experience and the insights you're getting from it, if any.

Ales2:
Tools Group session #3 went OK.

I was the first one there, everyone else was late and several no-showed, so we had a small group of 3 plus facilitator. 

I came in a little prepared for her question about the job search struggles. I just highlighted what I was doing and some new connections I made that might lead somewhere.   She mentioned that felt an energy shift from me, I don't feel it, I just felt better prepared for the questioning. I couldnt stand the discomfort of confrontation in the previous two sessions. Nothing in terms of me getting a job has changed. Positivity without results is just denial.

When we talked about upcoming holidays, she was asking about how I feel about my mother turning 80 this year. That was my assignment. Simple. Everybody here knows my answer. I have no unfinished business with her. I'll be Ok with whatever happens. She doesn't listen or cooperate in anyway, and I've found that acceptance and indifference works very well.

In talking with some other people, relationships were another issue and we have one guy in group in his 50s who has had some long term relationships (one marriage with three kids) that were highly dramatic. It was hard listening to all of that. I avoid drama like the plague, and thats why relationships and work are hard for me. Too much conflict and I'm out. Some people thrive on it and are so much more successful than me.  This is something that really hurts me.

Anyway, no group next week. My last one, unless I decide to stay on will be two weeks away, Nov. 30th.
 

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