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The Unexpected Truth - Short Essay by Ales2

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Hopalong:
What an incredibly cruel way to attack a child's sense of self.

You have my respect, Kathy, for healing yourself and learning so much about how to move beyond.

Words can harm as much as blows and sometimes more.

I'm so very sorry you experienced that as a child.

Hops

JustKathy:

--- Quote ---Words can harm as much as blows and sometimes more.
I'm so very sorry you experienced that as a child.
--- End quote ---

Thank you, Hops.

I have to agree that words can be more harmful than blows. Obviously both are bad, but given the choice, I would rather have been hit with fists than with words. At least I would have been believed if the abuse had been physical. A child who goes to school with visible bruises on them WILL get help, but the child who makes wild claims about her mother sabotaging her won't be believed. That was the worst part for me ... begging for help and not being believed. Even today, I still encounter therapists who don't believe me.

The other thing about verbal abuse is that it really never stops. I doubt that a physically abusive parent would continue to strike a 30, 40, or 50+ child, but the harmful words will keep on coming. Verbal abuse doesn't even need to be carried out behind closed doors. NM's are so good at it that, they can do it in a room full of people without anyone noticing. It's abuse for life, unless you go NC, or they die. It doesn't stop until they're GONE.

Kathy

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