Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
My T said my NM was ten years old mentally
Twoapenny:
It's sad, isn't it? And worries me a bit because I find myself realising at times that I'm thinking like the child I used to be. I'm trying hard to get rid of it, though. But how sad that so many aren't able to catch themselves at some point and realise that what they're doing isn't really working out :(
Hopalong:
Wow. Those are visceral images of arrested development.
Sad, repellent, and pathetic.
But then again, there's something really beautiful that both of you ((((Tupp, Kathy)))) now see those behaviors as exactly and only what they are, reality based and clear.
That's a triumph in itself...that you've learned over time to see that stunted behavior as the kind ... I dunno, unfortunate brain damage ... it actually is. Rather than describing it as a personal affront.
That says mountains about the hard-won maturities you've each achieved, from all that observant suffering.
Color me impressed,
Hops
JustKathy:
Maybe it's become easier for me to accept my own NM's infantile behavior because we're seeing so much of it on public display now, in far worse forms. We have people like Kanye West, throwing childish tantrums and walking off stage over the most trivial things. Then we have the nightmare in the oval office, with tantrums being recorded during press conferences and airing around the world. And people are accepting it as normal! :shock:
The idea of narcissistic tantrums becoming "normalized," is disturbing on many levels, but it does manage to make my own mother's actions seem mild in comparison. Her tantrums may have been the only personality trait she had that frustrated me, but didn't actually harm me. Seeing Ns with power, wealth, celebrity (or all of the above) who throw these childlike tantrums is unsettling at best. The only power my NM had over me was to stomp her feet and demand that we go to McDonald's instead of Taco Bell. No one was hurt by it. With other Ns, not so much. Trying not to get too political on this board, but you know what I mean.
Actually, what I just wrote is pretty messed up ... that I'm now able to laugh off one of my NM's mental health issues because there are people out there who are worse. Ugh.
JustKathy:
--- Quote ---But how sad that so many aren't able to catch themselves at some point and realise that what they're doing isn't really working out
--- End quote ---
Tup, I think the reason is that it IS working out for them. When my N-mother would throw a little tantrum over the dinner menu, the people around her would simply back off and agree to another restaurant. She always got her way, and no one ever told her to GROW UP. She was allowed to remain a perpetual child, so in her case, it worked out just fine. :(
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: JustKathy on May 02, 2017, 08:31:08 PM ---
--- Quote ---But how sad that so many aren't able to catch themselves at some point and realise that what they're doing isn't really working out
--- End quote ---
Tup, I think the reason is that it IS working out for them. When my N-mother would throw a little tantrum over the dinner menu, the people around her would simply back off and agree to another restaurant. She always got her way, and no one ever told her to GROW UP. She was allowed to remain a perpetual child, so in her case, it worked out just fine. :(
--- End quote ---
Wow, Kathy, you saying that has just set off a huge light bulb for me! You're absolutely right, everyone does just go along with them, my mum's exactly the same. Quite a large circle of sycophants who also have an amazing capacity to ignore reality and, as you say, no-one ever has a stern word with them. I did! I begged her to change her behaviour and she refused to even acknowledge she was part of the problem, in any way. She has always blamed my therapist for poisoning me against her. How do they get so many people onside?
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version