I am reacting strongly to my sister inheriting a lot of money.

[sea storm]

Very deep thoughts for me to think about. You are right about the anger and staying with it. I don't want to attack him in real life but to lay it to rest. 

thank you dear voices. It is nearly two am and I can't sleep. thank goodness you are there..


Lots of love
Sea

[Hopalong]

(((((((((((Sea))))))))))))

Fwiw, just about the only thing that helps me with anger is the simple idea that it always is a cover emotion. It covers hurt, or fear. (Or I've heard added, frustration.)

Grief (hurt) is SO painful. I think as painful as anger is, it sometimes hurts less than true grief. So maybe it's just a tiny tiny bit less painful than heartbreak. Because it gives a temporary sensation of power, whereas true grief brings us to our knees. (Or to our beds to sob.)

But...true grief clears the way for healing. I'm not sure anger does. The few times I've felt rage I've felt sickened afterward. The times I've felt, and sobbed out, true grief I've felt cleansed.

So maybe what is under the anger is your true grief. The hurt of him despoiling your dream. Of a good man, a good marriage, a happy life of happy memories. He destroyed it. (In his witless N way.) That hurt you so badly. (Just as your sister's behavior likewise despoils the dream of a kind, sane sibling, a good family memory, a happy family identity.)

I'm so very sorry, Sea.

love to you,
Hops