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Season's Greetings and Thanks

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sKePTiKal:
I also did quiet & peaceful - except for Christmas Eve. Holly flew home and there was some back & forth with her, about her party and of course, getting past the due diligence date with the difficult beach house buyer.

I still miss Mike; it's still sad - but NOT overwhelmingly so. I haven't run ragged cooking, baking, decorating... in fact did almost nothing, this year. Because I was too busy to shift gears into another state of mind. And that's OK. After Thanksgiving, I WANTED my peace & quiet.

It's really amazing that we've had this board so long and have been able to keep the Amazon's Yule log going all these years. Overall, we're in a better place re: the holidays as a group than I can remember from the past.

Here's to Dr. G and many more years!

JustKathy:
Christmas was pretty much a non-event for me, which is actually a good thing, though the holidays have become a very "weird" time for me (for lack of a better word). Emotions up and down, but generally in a better place.

With NM out of the picture, there's no more anxiety over what might be arriving in the mail. Co-Father has finally given up on the obligatory Christmas guilting that he continued after NM's death; no card, no gift this year. I really thought he'd follow the orders of his dead queen until the end, but it looks like he's now being controlled by a new N-queen. In a creepy-weird plot twist I never saw coming, it appears that my sister has completely assumed NM's role in his life and is controlling his every move. I have a feeling that, just as NM ordered the guilt cards sent, sister has ordered them stopped. NM wouldn't let me go NC, while sister appears to be enforcing NC. She's closely guarding him, or more likely, guarding her newfound position as sole heir.

I have my sister blocked on Facebook in order to stay hidden from sight, but do take the occasional peek at her page from an anonymous account. I have some theories on what may have brought about such a drastic personality change, but it would make for one VERY long post. Still, I may write it all down when I get a moment. The short story is that she's lost to me, and isn't coming back. It looks like NM got inside her head in much deeper ways than she ever did with me. I guess I should feel lucky. I'll always be damaged goods, but it could have been so much worse.

Hops, I'm glad to hear the gabapentin is working so well for you. I've tried that one a few times for my recurring nerve pain, but just can't tolerate it. I'm also struggling with sleep issues, but yesterday my psych gave me a new medication, hydroxyzine. She said it's basically prescription strength Benadryl. I'm going to try it tonight, see if I have any success with it.

Happy New Year to all of you! Even though I don't make it here as often as I'd like to, I'm forever grateful to have this group. I ALWAYS feel better after visiting this place. Thank you to everyone for your continued friendship and support, and to Dr. G for making it all possible. Much love to you all.

Kathy

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: JustKathy on December 28, 2017, 06:06:11 PM ---Christmas was pretty much a non-event for me, which is actually a good thing, though the holidays have become a very "weird" time for me (for lack of a better word). Emotions up and down, but generally in a better place.

With NM out of the picture, there's no more anxiety over what might be arriving in the mail. Co-Father has finally given up on the obligatory Christmas guilting that he continued after NM's death; no card, no gift this year. I really thought he'd follow the orders of his dead queen until the end, but it looks like he's now being controlled by a new N-queen. In a creepy-weird plot twist I never saw coming, it appears that my sister has completely assumed NM's role in his life and is controlling his every move. I have a feeling that, just as NM ordered the guilt cards sent, sister has ordered them stopped. NM wouldn't let me go NC, while sister appears to be enforcing NC. She's closely guarding him, or more likely, guarding her newfound position as sole heir.

I have my sister blocked on Facebook in order to stay hidden from sight, but do take the occasional peek at her page from an anonymous account. I have some theories on what may have brought about such a drastic personality change, but it would make for one VERY long post. Still, I may write it all down when I get a moment. The short story is that she's lost to me, and isn't coming back. It looks like NM got inside her head in much deeper ways than she ever did with me. I guess I should feel lucky. I'll always be damaged goods, but it could have been so much worse.

Hops, I'm glad to hear the gabapentin is working so well for you. I've tried that one a few times for my recurring nerve pain, but just can't tolerate it. I'm also struggling with sleep issues, but yesterday my psych gave me a new medication, hydroxyzine. She said it's basically prescription strength Benadryl. I'm going to try it tonight, see if I have any success with it.

Happy New Year to all of you! Even though I don't make it here as often as I'd like to, I'm forever grateful to have this group. I ALWAYS feel better after visiting this place. Thank you to everyone for your continued friendship and support, and to Dr. G for making it all possible. Much love to you all.

Kathy

--- End quote ---

Aw, it's nice to see you, Kathy :) I'm glad your Christmas wasn't as triggering as usual and that the card didn't arrive, although empathise with your situation of sis stepping into mum's shoes.  I think money is a huge motivator for some people (I've just had a friend go through a lengthy probate situation after her mum died, during which she discovered her mum's brother, who was also her business partner, executor and had power of attorney during her final years as her health deteriorated, had fleeced a small fortune from her over the years, including a couple of properties from their quite extensive portfolio that he just helped himself to!  It really can bring out the worst in some people).  But I hope the lack of contact helps to soothe some of those old wounds; for years I found Christmas was all about ripping the scabs off again but I have to say this year was really not too bad :)

I hope the sleep issues resolve.  Lack of sleep is my worst enemy, I think, I struggle all day without a decent night's sleep so I really feel for you on that one.  Hope it improves soon and a very Happy New Year to you, too :)  Lots of love xx

JustKathy:
Thanks so much, Tup. Regarding my sister, I think the motivator here is power, not money. Co-Father really doesn't have any assets, other than his home, which is nice, but in a rural area with limited value. I think the change in her is really about power and control.

Of the three children, sister was the only one who never escaped NM's manipulation. She allowed my mother to control every aspect of her life, from her school courses, to her college major, her career, her car, her residence, even her social life and love life (or lack thereof). NM made sure she was completely alone and dependent on her parents, well into her fifties. It looks like she suffered in silence all those years, and is now settling the score. Some of this may be revenge against NM, but also revenge against her GC brother (who was spoiled rotten and wanted for nothing), and revenge against me as well. I'll write more on this later, but I'm seeing signs that she may have been extremely envious of both myself and my brother for most of her life and just kept it all inside.

Last year she went to Comic-Con and had her picture taken at the "Game Of Thrones" display, sitting on the iron throne, dressed like Cersei, wig and all. She has the most condescending look on her face. A picture is indeed worth a thousand words.

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: JustKathy on January 02, 2018, 05:29:30 PM ---Thanks so much, Tup. Regarding my sister, I think the motivator here is power, not money. Co-Father really doesn't have any assets, other than his home, which is nice, but in a rural area with limited value. I think the change in her is really about power and control.

Of the three children, sister was the only one who never escaped NM's manipulation. She allowed my mother to control every aspect of her life, from her school courses, to her college major, her career, her car, her residence, even her social life and love life (or lack thereof). NM made sure she was completely alone and dependent on her parents, well into her fifties. It looks like she suffered in silence all those years, and is now settling the score. Some of this may be revenge against NM, but also revenge against her GC brother (who was spoiled rotten and wanted for nothing), and revenge against me as well. I'll write more on this later, but I'm seeing signs that she may have been extremely envious of both myself and my brother for most of her life and just kept it all inside.

Last year she went to Comic-Con and had her picture taken at the "Game Of Thrones" display, sitting on the iron throne, dressed like Cersei, wig and all. She has the most condescending look on her face. A picture is indeed worth a thousand words.

--- End quote ---

I get what you mean, Kathy, I guess a lifetime of feeling powerless can make you overdo the power trip when the opportunity presents itself.  There are so many ways that being messed up can manifest!  Years ago (when I was ranting away on Facebook about my abusive step-father getting away with it after the police refused to investigate), someone emailed me (someone I'd known from years back, not a close friend as such but just someone from the past, as is often the way with Facebook) and said the best form of revenge is a life well lived.  It is probably one of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given and from that time onwards I've tried very hard to focus on making my life as happy as I can instead of trying to get my own back on other people.  My mum is the opposite, spends so much time trying to hurt those she feels have wronged her and it seems your sis is in a similar situation.  It's very sad but at the same time I'm glad you're not on that same path (even though I know it all hurts, none the less).  Happy New Year to you, and I hope 2018 is a good one xx

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