Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

My husband has cancer that has spread

<< < (3/4) > >>

lighter:
((((Deb)))) I'm sorry you and your family are going through this.

I miss seeing you here.

Lighter

Hopalong:
Me too, Deb.

Unimaginably hard, what you're going through.
Caregiving on steroids and you must be EXHAUSTED.

I hope you can find, carve out, scream for, seek out or demand when you can...some respite. And then again. It's not wrong or selfish it's as necessary as breathing.

Caregivers just get jackhammered into the ground and you have to be your own advocate in this.

love to you,
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Hi Deb, my friend. I've missed seeing you too and wondered what happened. Thanks for the update.

Hops' word "jackhammered" is spot-on. I only did what you're doing for about 3 months - and I had to have night nurses for half that time. If I didn't get him changed when he needed it, he would take off the oxygen and try to get to the hall bathroom. If he fell, there was no way I could get him back in bed. He was that weak.

And my brain was working overtime, learning new skills like you mentioned - processing tons of medical information and looking up words, asking my doc friend things - and sleep was my friend. I needed sleep - even if I was giving up almost all of my time for me to a regular care schedule. I lost 20 lbs in the process and the aftermath - mostly because I wasn't eating well. There wasn't any time to cook - so microwave meals helped. Now, I can't stand the taste of them.

But it IS a blessing to these hubbys, that we do undertake to do this to the best of our ability. That said, you have to have some help... to have a little time to yourself, feel like yourself a little bit, crank up the music in the car and soak in the sunshine and fresh air... even the rain. Otherwise, your "self" gets worn to a nubbin.

Take care you two - Deb & BettyAnne.

debkor:
Hops, light, Skep, BettyAnne,

I ended the post (the one I couldn’t shut up) lol because I’m not good with typing on my cell. And hit something *poof* gone.

Yes you are right. I was exhausted. I was trying to have my house like a hospital unit while still being grandma, doing all the normal things, wife, mom, And Be Me. Yeah NO, that didn’t work because I didn’t have a 24 hour staff.

It would make me crazy when things went haywire in my home. Meaning I couldn’t keep up with the normal things I use to do.
 
I don’t think there was away around that (for me).  It was something I had to do before I accepted the fact I’m no Superman. After that I did what I could and left what I couldn’t alone. I would get to it when I could.

It’s 2 later now. Everyone is shocked and they call him miracle man. He has no pain he is independent for the most part.  He still drives local and to get his treatments, stores, ect. Only medication he takes is for acid reflux.
 
I sleep, go out, garden (well hopefully) soon. I have a new friend. Someone I really enjoy working with. I was introduced to him by my son. He don’t say much. Mostly gives you a grumble. He’s tall, dark and handsome, stands 6ft tall, comes shopping with me in stores and the only male I have ever known to sit down and not complain. I have to do all the driving though. We eventually want to volunteer at hospitals together. Meet my new 1 year old Great Dane Grand Pup. 

BettyAnne, Prayers for you and hubby. Take care of yourself too. Thinking of you both. ❤️ And rest!
 
 

sea storm:
I am so sorry for all the pain you and your husband have gone through. I am praying for you both. Caretaking your husband sounds rewarding, painful, exhausting and an act of great love and devotion. For both of you.

I hope and pray that you take care of yourself through this.  Good news that the cancer is at a 2 now.

It is so ok if you come here when you can and find support. Kind wishes to you. Lots of hugs

Sea

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page