Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
End of the Road Farm
lighter:
Gack.... now I'm thinking about the gas line buried down the drive at the cottage.... it was cracked by the big machine, and contractor fixed it leaving an exposed pipe sticking up out of the drive... in a tire track..... with a cinderblock sitting atop. :shock:
Every time the shuttle carries me to the cottage I worry they'll hit it. The first time I saw it I thought some jokester put it there for giggles. Every pipe is buried in a shallow ditch,come to think of it. INCHES under the sand. Some run alongside the falling down front porch on the guest cottage..... crap.
So.
Much.
To.
Worry.
About.
Amber, I can't believe the sellers were such D's about sharing info on the property. Just....
well....
you must have gotten a pretty good deal on the place, huh? That's the only thin I can think of that makes sense. They felt a little raw about it, or....
they're just Ds?
Gotta be one or the other, IMO.
::shrugging shoulders::.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
Well - another unintentional all-nighter. Just started reading - drifted - never really slept. No, nothing's "on my mind" of any import. But the heat has laid me low and I essentially did nothing at all yesterday. Not even think. Just one of those things.
I know I'll pay for it around 1-2 pm... but that's the way things work sometimes.
Electrician is due in this morning. I haven't done what he hopes I'll have done with the bobcat... because of the heat and making me feel ill. We had 2 hrs of thunder yesterday evening, before it finally spritzed a little rain and cooled off almost 20 degrees. I am soaking up the cool before the sun gets over the ridge and the blinds have to go down... and catching up on the stuff I completely forgot to do yesterday in my zombie-daze.
No word on Holly's timetable yet. I know it'll be the weekend before her friends can help move the stuff she's putting in storage (for now). Then there's the logistics of two cars. She's going to do what works best for her... I don't have to think about it.
Not sure how I've become so heat sensitive. Mighta been the time I forgot to pack the water in the cooler for a hike in the desert. I remembered the sandwiches. :rolleyes: Or the years at the beach spending all day around the pool. I literally get melty; get the chills like with a fever; nauseous; and super-brain-fog... like losing the sensation of where my body is in space. When I can maintain long time-frames at a cooler temp, I can tolerate some work in the heat if I pace myself and stay close to shade. Low 80s is just fine. Anything over that - and I can't push myself. Heat index in the 90s... and I'm done for.
One reason I moved back north. I didn't think we'd have but a day or two of that kind of heat; never expected a WEEK of it all at once. Even IN the a/c... it affects me. I truly have weird things falling apart on me. At a time, I'm motivated to get back in "fighting shape" and get the big "have-tos" done around here.
lighter:
Sorry the heat's so hard on you, Amber. It's a tad bit concerning. Are well hydrated? Is your blood pressure OK? Malaria? Sounds.... like something's going on.
What did the electrician get done.... could he keep moving forward?
I don't know how I missed the post where you said Holly moving with you, but glad to read it's happening. Do you have more energy when she's there?
Lighter
Hopalong:
I think being affected by this heat is not a failure or sign of weakness.
It's the body's indication that, like lions, we need to spend the extreme heat of the day lolling in shade (or in AC). The kind of heat we've had in recent years is NOT USUAL, so if you haven't been feeling as good as usual in it, you're normal.
Climate change is no fun. Likewise, it's no fun but natural to step down somewhat what one's body always used to do...it's just part of the natural cycle. You're in no danger of a sedentary life!
xo
Hops
sKePTiKal:
LET'S ALL LIMBO NOW... :LOL:
I'm trying to take the same advice I just gave Tupps. Shifting out of feeling frustrated... helpless... completely in limbo with no forward motion because of reasons totally beyond my control. I'm going to turn it into a "refocus Amber" weekend, I think. Full of self-care... different things than I normally do, read, look at or listen to.
I can't win for losing with the weather. It's alternating between total monsoon and so hot & humid a person can't breathe - much work - outside. I have a simple, but great rehydration drink recipe that came from a friend - who's actually having exactly the same heat-sickness issues. She's a chef so is working in a hot kitchen all day; in Florida. She's acclimated there... but I think we both drank too much water and didn't eat enough. Hard to eat when you're being assaulted by the heat.
We got a storm that dumped about (ANOTHER) 4 inches of rain in a couple hours on the 4th. Poor electricans were stuck in the metal barn, and the lightning, hail & wind were pretty impressive and scary. And now it's going to rain pretty much all day here - and with only 2 days of nice weather to dry things out enough that I can finish grading around the barn -- so the next time we get that much rain, I don't have a lake INSIDE the barn. It is critical that I do as much as I humanly can, as soon as the weather provides an opportunity. This job has been "in progress" for 4 months now... and isn't THAT BIG A JOB.
I DID have plans this weekend... but it's yet another type of limbo. Friend was going to come out for an overnight this weekend. Then it looked as though Holly would be done at work... and be moving in that weekend... and now she tells me that depending on the decision to keep or demo their shop's spray paint booth... she could be in B'more NEXT week yet. It's her boss, dragging things out... and keeping his crew "on call". They're actually only working a little bit the week's hours the union insists they get paid for. This girly has "plans"... which haven't manifested yet either, for which she could use the extra padding in her bank account... so she's working. And if she wants to stay in that business, she won't just walk away to take care of her own. Things are peaceful enough at home and she has free time to go swimming, etc with her friends and start thinking about if she WANTS to stay in Baltimore (or one of the counties around it) that badly.
I think that whole group of people, personalities, relationships is loathe to let "what is" go... and jump off the cliff into change. But maybe that's only my perception, because I'm sitting here spinning in my own little square foot of existence and would just LOVE for something I already have "on the timeline" to move ahead. Tomorrow and Sunday are supposed to be dry and sunny; I'm probably gonna TRY to at least get the one side graded the way I want it... even if it's wet. I'll only push things so far before I prudently stop.
I can focus on the outside stuff at every opportunity for a few weeks; the guy who's replacing the downstairs flooring had to have eye surgery... but I have a date! August 13 is the start of the 2-day process.
So today is a GREAT "spa day" at home... and letting myself journal offline for a bit... refocus, cook, gather energy... and then point myself in a productive direction in those gaps between weather extremes.
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