Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
End of the Road Farm
Hopalong:
I looooooove thinking about you enjoying creating your decor!
x100
xxoo
Hops
sKePTiKal:
rain rain rain rain rainnnnnnnnnnnn.... looks like I've got at least a solid 24 hrs of this. Wind is picking up, too.
Holly is about half way home again. She got a gut feeling about Matt and one of their mutual friends and started checking in with them... and it was more or less true. She's still not accepting that he can't/won't talk to her about whether this is a permanent break-up or not... or why "Mr. Great Guy" simply can't respect HER feelings and be open/honest about his so they can remain friends. Sigh. It's always tough when someone says they're "this"... just not with you and they can't even see it.
But I think the road trip has been the right "medicine" for her to think about moving on and just letting this go. She's always going to have to deal with old wounds that make her question herself, I think. But that has improved a lot too.
Well... looks like I need to think about working inside today. There's still plenty to do.
sKePTiKal:
Holly got home Wed night. Now the hard part starts - deciding what she's going to do, work-wise, where she wants to live, etc. She had an appt in B'more today - but even doing a round trip is short driving for her, given the last leg she drove. That was about 12 hrs straight.
She had a premonition about one of her friends and Matt while on the road. She checked it out, and it appears there is some hanky-panky going on... which she is actually HAPPY for them. But Matt took the opportunity to lash out at her again, accusing her of lying and trying to manipulate him and doesn't believe she's actually happy for them. That knocked her down a bit. But she's processed that pretty satisfactorily. Now, he wants her to move all the rest of her stuff out of his house. SIGH.
I guess he's entitled to changing his mind, but logistically, this might not be possible for a couple of weeks. At which time, she may be working on a new 6 wk long project - with no guarantee of more work there, in the future. It's still all up in the air.
I need to order extension brackets for the big blind in the office to clear the window hardware.
Kinda taking some time off, with my feet up and being lazy today. And seriously asking myself if I really WANT Hol to live here... or go her own way, just not too far away. I probably should've sat with that question before I made the offer.
Hopalong:
--- Quote ---seriously asking myself if I really WANT Hol to live here... or go her own way, just not too far away. I probably should've sat with that question before I made the offer.
--- End quote ---
Oof. That is indeed a deeply serious question, ((((Amber)))).
(Obviously, my experience affects this opinion.)
Something I profoundly wish is that with both my mother and my D, I had join into our joint living arrangements with an absolutely crystal-clear "contract" between us that in each instance, we both agreed openly and without pretense that we'd do this for six months. And then re-evaluate.
It's hellish to recognize that a family home share isn't good for you later in life, and by the time you do...it's even more hellish to make a change.
Good luck with this--I have faith you'll think your way to the right approach for you.
Hugs
Hops
Twoapenny:
That's a good point from Hops, kind of like a get out clause - maybe agree from the outset a regular review period.
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