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End of the Road Farm

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Hopalong:
BRAVO for facing the doctor, Amber.
Huge bravo.

I have been joyfully and peacefully addicted to nicotine gum for a couple decades now. My desperate recurring attempts to quit over the years had failed and the emotional damage was getting as bad as the physical.

So at my final (2nd) hypnosis appointment I made a conscious decision to maintain a level of nicotine in my bloodstream and ditch the shame about an "alternate dependency." The hypnosis was a miracle, I came out and chewed the gum. And I'm eternally grateful.

FWI, I have zero cravings for smoking any more and the hypnosis helped me implant in my own mind revulsion for cigarettes. However, I'll crawl the walls if I run out of the gum. That is just fine with me. It was a conscious, rational tradeoff that spared me withdrawal and kept me on my fav drug...virtually harmlessly.

(Well harmless except it ain't cheap. But I found a way to order it from a reliable, decent, excellent service overseas...let me know if you ever want that info.)

Just a thought.

xxxooo
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Fast moving situations, or lots & lots of life-stuff... are not conducive or supportive or nurturing... to attempts to mentally/emotionally change habits, or ways of thinking/being.

For me, at least.

Things are busy - and then they're not - around here all the time. There are different kinds of things that need to be dealt with - so I can move on to the next thing. Changing those "hats" so often, so quickly... or wearing more than one at once... feels like I'm out of control; not thinking all the way THROUGH... or seeing all the angles of something. Like I'm blundering, flailing, and will be trapped into something I can't get out of. A danger to myself.*

Yet, I've managed large institutional changes; that involved one on one interaction with hundreds of people. Sailed through huge life changes (people are always asking: so what craziness is your life right now?) and somehow landed on my feet, no matter the size of the wave I'm surfing.


* All because of minor mistakes or misunderstandings; not being able to express myself simply and clearly; or even being able to say "what I want" and it's my "fault" for "feeling like this". None of my mistakes are "life threatening". Hahahahahaa.

These two realities are mutually exclusive. They can't both exist/be real at the same time. Yet they do. Lighter's brain integration studies are something I'm following along with. I feel like I know exactly what she's talking about... but it doesn't come out the verbal side of my brain. At all.

sKePTiKal:
Getting ready for business trip; leaving this weekend. I'm going to try to nail down some important stuff for the future. No idea if that's even possible... but it's worth trying to open the conversation about it.

Holly finished an interesting project. It's a "knit with your hands" wool roving blanket - like a giant sweater. Made with with wool roving as thick as my wrist; lightly felted; then using your hands as knitting needles to "knit" the wool. The wool is expensive, but she essentially finished the project in a day.

Hopalong:
Good luck on your business/legalese venture, Amber.
Hope it nails down that security for the years ahead.

Holly's knitting project sounds waaaaaay cool.
I love color and especially natural textures in clothing,
pretty hard to find (outside of high end craft, that is).

Travel safe! I'll be on the road too this weekend, just
to the beach, books on tape geared up.

xo
Hops

lighter:
Well that's 3 of us out of town.  I'm leaving tomorrow...be back the 15th.  Safe travels. 
Lighter

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