Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
2019 Farm Life
Twoapenny:
--- Quote from: sKePTiKal on June 23, 2019, 05:10:14 PM ---Well.
New grandbaby not coming anymore. Hol miscarried this morning.
I know; sadness.... but she's doing OK under the circumstances and Steve has been protective and doting on her. He's promised to bring her a surprise today. I might be sadder than she is - FOR her.
--- End quote ---
Oh Skep, I'm so very sorry to read this. I never know what to say at times like this, everything sounds trite and cliched and never seems to sum up the huge range of feelings that everyone goes through when these things happen. So I will only say I am thinking of you all and please give Hol a big hug on my behalf xx
sKePTiKal:
Thanks all. I found some balm, after watching some wacky movies all afternoon with her. Hot, warm, gooey brownies as a bedtime snack. That must've hit the spot because she promptly wiped out a third of the pan, scooping 'em into a bowl and retreating to her cave with Steve. When she brought the bowl back I got a smooch on top of the head... and a hug. Steve brought her fresh red clover to make tea with and a lovely piece of wood, with two hollowed out holes - resembles a primitive goddess figure.
Tupp, don't feel bad about not having words. I didn't have any either. My heart hurts for them. So I just was quiet and let her "be"... even Knuckles was quiet until Steve got back. He even let me bury my face in his neck and snuggle; usually he can't stop dancing around long enough to pet him. Beebs is not leaving Hol's side, maybe that's why.
I guess she was on the phone all day. Both her sisters knew when I thought to let them know in the evening. Autumn invited us to the pool next Sunday for Logan's birthday party. He's 11 already. And Amy actually had appropriate responses, for once. Shocking, that.
They'll definitely be trying again.
So, it lifts some of the urgency on projects around here until then. Talked to Buck last night too; his infection is kicking up again and he has an early appt today. He's running a fever again. He said he hasn't slept as well as he did here, in a long time. Thinks it's because it's so quiet here. Even with the fever, I can hear the wheels turning in his head - LOL. The no-see-ums are out in full force this year; the cool start to summer seems to have prolonged their season. Maybe the heat this week, will knock them down some. I'm miserable with itchies I can't even reach. That's going to be fun at the lawyer's meeting this week, LOL.
lighter:
Sorry Hol miscarried, Amber. I'm hoping they get the hut, and the any of their dreams. She can take all the vitamins she thinks wise, proactively, and enjoy planning a nursery. There will be baby joy again, Amber
I'm eatin up with no seeum bites too. Man, they're really angry red welts this year, worthy of 3 Benadryl.
I can't wait for Benadryl assisted sleep tonight. I land around midnight.
Lighter
sKePTiKal:
She's putting her attention on a new and very silly project that we came up with about a month ago. Not letting herself think too much right now. Taking care of business and the "lists". We're both adjusting to having Steve around a lot more... and he's quietly just wandering around looking at things... listening. Like I did, the first year. He's been told to freely share his input, ideas, and suggestions. Like me, he's not socially gregarious. But now, he's feeling more comfortable and talking directly to me. We are comfortable around each other.
I committed myself to some things to do, or get started last week - and I'm not adding anything extra to the list. Lots of dust needs to settle in the emotional environment around here. Another of Hol's friends is coming for the weekend. So I'll be in kitchen mode again - and maybe seeking suggestions from Steve, unless he's got work. Josh has stayed with us before, at the beach. I like him a bunch - but he's not everyone's cup o' tea. He's also a painter, so there's that "special language" space I enjoy about him.
My special fella is dealing with a 17 yr old who's feeling senioritis set in this summer. He has his hands full but is doing just fine. Pretty sure she hates his guts right now, but he's definitely doing the right thing and I'm backing him up. Hol and I are starting to feel some of those old things come up too; not in any serious way - just 2 women in the same house, wanting to do things their way.
It's been a real interesting experiment for me. I can now just turn a space over to her and whatever is going on. In fact, it is better sometimes for me to just get out of the way. I'm enjoying every single moment of having the house or the studio to myself again. We have brush to clear at the Hut site, trees to mark - either cut or save - and are still waiting on numbers & contract and final floor plan/exterior design from the contractor. Fence contractor showing up next Tuesday to work up numbers for fence around the pond and field... and "yard" - such as it is - around the house. Rick is almost done with the road and will be expecting a check before he heads to the beach for a vacation. LOL... he keeps trying to get me to buy his backhoe. He promises he'll come run it.
Hopalong:
Is it a deer fence?
I am very interested in fences...
:)
hugs
Hops
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