Thanks Lighter.
Yes, she's grieving. And her body is taking longer this go round, to fully get past it. She did a whole day bonfire; Christmas Day; all of us were there at various times. She took naps; spent time in her nest. Hung out a little. I knew I needed to just leave her be, and her feel the feelings. So effective little processor that she is, she's coming back up already to deal with the next things going on for her.
Buck is preparing to exit the hospital. There was some last minute drama, and he had to get "persuasive", in his particular way. But the end result is that he will be receiving antibiotics for the infection on a regular basis closer to home. He had different surgeons this time, and they were the ones that had ordered the antibiotics - which any person with sense would realize he needed. Oddly, it was the head of the Infectious Disease dept that tried to CANCEL that order. But the end result is all that matters at the moment; he'll be able to continue the treatments at a local to him hospital. Get the best antibiotic; under the close supervision of a completely different set of docs. I'm satisfied with that.
So my little "flock" here is getting back on an even keel. I finally got a good night's sleep and am ready to tackle the day. Which at the moment, is going to consist of FINALLY getting around to trying to make progress on that blasted fireplace in my bedroom (maybe) and re-prioritizing my various "lists". I still have a canvas and preliminary sketch on it to ponder, too. Thinking now, I'll stop sketching and just go straight to color wash. But that's going to demand that I unpack my collection of old buttons, sort/package them, and then store them somewhere accessible. That's an afternoon's very light activity. (Buttons are on top of my painting station.)
Need to order a plow for the ranger; there's going to be some work I'll need assistance with hooking up the trailer but that is all part of the job. John's moved my larger hand weights out to the studio - there's more room so it makes sense - and he's been using them; I NEED to as well. I only have a couple months to figure out where my physical "oopmph" went and get it back.
While I don't do New Year's resolutions, Amberland is going to go topsy-turvy, starting now. Old patterns, stuff from the past - including what I usually identify with, that I KNOW isn't entirely "true" of me; my real self - it's finally time to "let go" to make room for new stuff; new patterns/habits; and start choosing, selecting, shaking things up into a new zeitgeist.
Which is the BEST KIND of blank canvas syndrome.
