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Embracing The Dark Side

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lighter:
Trust your instincts, Tupp.  Honor your feelings,  and choose YOU for a while. 

I have paperwork to do too.  Mostly it's time to sift through all my bills, get together some stuff for taxes, and continue wittling down expenses.  It's time. 

I don't dread it, but I'm definitely avoiding it.  I'm noticing this without any judgement.  Just curiosity.  I think this is a step closer to being OK with paperwork.... dropping the panic knee jerk default around it, kwim?

(((Tupp)))

I hope you find something good to share with this friend. 

Lighter

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: lighter on February 21, 2019, 10:05:44 AM ---Trust your instincts, Tupp.  Honor your feelings,  and choose YOU for a while. 

I have paperwork to do too.  Mostly it's time to sift through all my bills, get together some stuff for taxes, and continue wittling down expenses.  It's time. 

I don't dread it, but I'm definitely avoiding it.  I'm noticing this without any judgement.  Just curiosity.  I think this is a step closer to being OK with paperwork.... dropping the panic knee jerk default around it, kwim?

(((Tupp)))

I hope you find something good to share with this friend. 

Lighter

--- End quote ---

Lighter, I made a list of the main paperwork things that needed to be done - thirteen jobs in total.  Some of those jobs are smaller jobs combined (file box that needs sorting through and organising, for example - some will need action, some will go in the shredder, some will be filed away).  I've put it up on the wall and given myself a target of two jobs a day - which will mean it's done by the time son goes back to college.  I've also made a list of things I like doing and I'm alternating - an hour on paperwork (which I break down into ten minute chunks - for some reason crossing off ten minutes at a time helps) then an hour doing something else.  I've got my two jobs for today done but I'm going to carry on working through and see how much else I can do because I am just so sick of always having this millstone around my neck.  If I can get these things crossed off the list it will help.  There will be more coming in - so many of these processes go on for months and go back and forth - but if I can get this backlog out the way, and get really well organised - then I hope to be able to deal with other stuff as it comes in and not have it pile up the way this lot has.  Sigh.  I've really had a gutfull of it all now.  But it needs to be done.  I've got music on in the background and I'm stopping for snacks and drinks as necessary.  I hope you can get through some of your pile as well xx

lighter:
I hope I can jump in, and make some progress too, Tupp. 

Some of my stuff is dealing with incompetent people in positions of authority.... GRRRRRRR.... so angry about that, and they're refusing to help me solve it!  Lawyer involved, and still not getting resolution.

And like you I have sorting, and shredding..... so much sorting and shredding.

sKePTiKal:
Tupps, do you have time yet to daydream a bit about how you would rebuild your life? What you want it to be?

I'm just asking, because I need to do a bit of that myself. Sure, I can stay busy on the farm... but as Hol continues to remind me: life can be so much more than that. I just don't know how much I WANT to juggle. Ya know?

Twoapenny:

--- Quote from: lighter on February 21, 2019, 02:53:44 PM ---I hope I can jump in, and make some progress too, Tupp. 

Some of my stuff is dealing with incompetent people in positions of authority.... GRRRRRRR.... so angry about that, and they're refusing to help me solve it!  Lawyer involved, and still not getting resolution.

And like you I have sorting, and shredding..... so much sorting and shredding.

--- End quote ---

Other people's incompetence creating work for me drives me insane, Lighter, it's the aspect of my situation that makes me feel so paralysed.  I don't have any way of making anyone do their job properly because I don't have any authority over them.  They can screw up and mess up as often as they like - they still get paid and I sink deeper into the sand.  It drives me nuts.  I can't even console myself with a cake because I'm on a healthy eating spree :)  Lol.  Shredding makes me feel so satisfied - especially shredding things that have annoyed me :)  I'm dreaming of a huge ceremonial bonfire one day when I can take every single one of the thousands of bits of paper that currently sit across the wall in my sitting room and set fire to the lot of them :)  I might make voodo dolls of people who've annoyed me and chuck them on as well :) Lol xx

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