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Relationship/s

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lighter:
Splashing around in a nice pool sounds really great, Hops.

Maybe make spa water with watermelon, and cucumber, my favorites.

I'm glad you're feeling better: )

Lighter

sKePTiKal:
Smart Hops...

Yes, I think too, that the internal emotional upsets are just as much stress - and even harder on us - than manual labor. I'll bet this dive into those issues is going to be very freeing for you.

Water forms of therapy are some of the easiest on old muscles and joints (impacts on joints causes so much wear & tear on the cushioning) and it's also relaxing and feels great in this heat.

Glad your partner in fun is returning soon!

Hopalong:
Thanks, ((((Amber)))). I think you're right and think my surges of fear and self protection have probably been accompanied by BP spikes all along. The test results refer to "embolism" which I think is the fancy word for "clot". Hence, blood thinners. But I can't imagine that feeling THAT upset (as I was when he swanned into what he perceived as D rescue) didn't have an effect on my body, my blood vessels, my BP.

Hence, calm. Swimming. Mellow times with M and should he become too un-mellow, my feet must take me home or into retreat. I don't know how well this New Me (hopefully) will go, but I am going to try to explain it to him pre-emptively and kindly.

He has a looooooong way to go in terms of self-knowledge. The good thing is that he reacted to his first T session with interest and excitement and I think if it engages his intellect first (which it has) then his emotional habits underneath will eventually come up enough for him to see them.

It's a large bet, and I can't be sure. But all in all, I'm happy I'll be seeing him at the airport tonight. I'm hoping I'm not back on here in days or weeks all crushed about a new episode of the old behavior. Having just had a wee stroke, I would see that as a challenge for me to put survival above relationship.

(Then again, in fairness, I need to remember that I had a similar though much milder episode of this--not being able to retrieve words--a couple years before we met. So M is just one new among pre-existing factors that will either support my wellbeing or undermine it. And that'll involve taking in the whole picture, best I can. I will need to watch, remain calm, look at my life and our interactions and take it from there....)

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
Maybe it's different past experiences, or different personalities or both... but when I say I have to pull back from Buck and sort out something that's my job to deal with, he lets me go do. And vice versa. That said, 24 hrs doesn't go by without a check-in.

I think I stumbled over something important in yesterday's farm post. About stop struggling. I'm not entirely sure what's important about that (the heat is really affecting me; as well as adjusting to his late night schedule) but I'll see what it is, eventually.

Hopalong:
That's so wonderful. I can't imagine you being with a whiner or a clutcher.

I have breathed through some of that with M and as I mentioned, it was nearly an end to us. But he also breathed through some of my trapped-weasel fury (over entitlement and stuff he does without thinking).

After all this breathing, we seem (so far) to be coming to the surface and looking at each other with less fear and more trust. Both the hospital and the trip brought us closer.

I hope B's ordeal will knit you two even closer in ways that help you both endure. He is a very lucky man. And it shows that even on a mountain, a woman who wants love can find it.

Hugs
Hops

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