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Relationship/s

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Twoapenny:
The trip sounds amazing, Hops, the journey home sounds like hell, bless you!  I'm glad Pooch was so happy and well looked after and that friends organised home coming stuff for you.  Are you feeling a bit better now?  I'm glad you and M enjoyed yourselves on the trip; it sounded like it could have gone either way because of what had gone on before :)  So I'm glad it went the better way of the two :)  I hope you've been able to get your feet up and recover a bit now xx

Hopalong:
Feeling much better, thanks Tupp!
Got out again yesterday, took a friend to M's pool, and except for one mother and child for the first half, we wound up with the entire place to ourselves. Ridiculous, on a hot day in July. It was gorgeous. I just kicked from the side and then simply walked back and forth in the water (could splash but couldn't submerge the monitor) but it was wonderful. Residual cough is on its way out.

M comes home the 18th and has written me lovely travelogue emails daily, and is so eager to see me again. Me too. I am also aware that after the stroke, I will be more at peace about setting and holding boundaries and not letting him power over, ooze through, cajole or frantic-ize his way across them. I think that will be essential to building a healthy relationship going forward, and despite his moments of discomfort or frustration, I think he should be able to grow and get calmer. If he isn't capable of that growth, then that's another decision for another day. But at least I feel clear on what my job is. It really is to take care of myself, and that includes within our relationship.

I'm going to be happy to see him too. And I feel more open and affectionate toward him because of the two intense things we've just shared: the hospitalization and the trip. I have a feeling we've each learned some important things and time will tell me whether that's true and continuing.

Appreciate you checking! It means SO much to have this place to offload it all and I get such wisdom back.

hugs
Hops

sKePTiKal:
I was just reflecting that it's important to have a group of Amazon ladies, to run all the crazy relationship stuff past for a 2nd opinion. For me, anyway. I have such a strong and wayward imagination I kinda fear deceiving myself. Especially in that first flush of excitement about "this is really happening". And in my case, happening so fast, I swear my head is spinning in Linda Blair fashion. LOL.

And then, that first moment of peace settles in and the relationship seems more "cozy" than anything else, and one can't believe one deserves such good fortune. But of course, rationally, there is a long list of reasons WHY we do. It doesn't diminish the gratitude one bit.

Meh:
How did the follow up with the doc go?

Hopalong:
Thanks for asking, G!
Last thing was on Friday, getting a cardiac monitor (30 day) put on and also an echocardiogram. Haven't heard the results yet.

I don't have to go back to the Stroke Center for the bigger followup until October, so they must not be too worried about me. But maybe once I mail the monitor back in they'll get in touch if there's anything alarming.

I'm betting not, but that my task is to do what I know I need to do for general health (diet, exercise, etc). The specific thing I'm thinking about is not being so emotionally reactive to M's stuff. I realize there's nothing malicious, but when even a good man slips into entitlement or "I think I'm in charge" behavior, something inside me reacts like a trapped weasel. I think that goes all the way back to my brother, and is something I'm going to talk about with the T.

Surely my emotional state is something I can do something about too, not just my body.

I'll keep y'all posted. But I'm feeling much better and looking forward to the heat wave passing so I feel like walking again. Meanwhile, there's an indoor track nearby (no excuses) and even M's pool.

Been lazy all week getting over jet lag and cold, but I pick him up at the airport tomorrow night and think that'll give me some energy too. He thinks it'll take him a week too...in your 70s it's different, no more one-day turnaround.

Several months left for swimming and I'd be a fool not to take advantage of it.

Hugs
Hops

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