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Relationship/s

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lighter:
Hops:

I'm sorry you didn't completely clear the air with M, bc he'd do well to fully understand your feelings in this matter, IMO.  Baby steps.

That said, it's hopeful you could talk, and not argue.

As long as you don't feel you're being herded into NOT having a dissenting opinion, into NOT being able to raise concerns, into NOT speaking your mind, even when it's not easy for M..... I think you're surf'n real good: )

Trauma bonding is a slow creeping thing, IME.

Amber, I was told that feelings, like you're experiencing recently.....
the in your face HERE AND NOW FEELINGS are best dealt with through somatic T.  I can say that the little Somatic T I did helped a good deal. 

Truth be told, I hate that those negative feelings have any power over you at all.  The same with my stuff.... I hate losing another minute to them.

I think it would be better if those powerful reactions and feelings could be banished, instead of endured.  I don't want to simply endure.  I want to notice when they're absent, and feel gratitude that they're gone, or at least lessened, which is where I am now.  I don't go out the door every morning with my guard up, and it's a revelation I hardly notice anymore.  Not that I'm out of the woods, bc I'm not.  I just have more distance, and I needed help to do that.   

lighter

sKePTiKal:
Most of the time, I do have that distance and can stay centered in objectivity more than emotion. But due to some "piling on" the past few weeks... I was vulnerable because of the timing.

lighter:
You do have a lot on your plate, Amber.

Lighter

Twoapenny:
I think the fact that you're able to talk about it without fear, or an argument, or someone walking out or slamming doors, is the key thing, Hops, and I'm glad you've been able to chat it through.

I know I have my own hang ups, triggers, over reactions, under reactions and so on.  We are what we are, warts, bad experiences, bits we still aren't ready to deal with yet and we all have that, whether we know it or not.  I think the honesty and openness you both have is amazing and I love that he is real with you - he didn't pretend it was anything other than what it is, or has been.  I think this is a good blip to get through (and there had to be something, what with tutu twirling and whisking you off to Paris, something in there had to be a bit grainy! lol).  I'm glad you've talked it through and got it all out in the open xx

Meh:
Wow Hops a full facelift without telling him.  (some cliche saying here about how we all have an inch of dirt in our bags??    :)   At least you have the balls to try a relationship.

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