Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Meandering
Meh:
Moment of freaking out. I initiated a claim for unemployment but then I didn't actually open and start it because I wanted some time off. Also they sent me a ton of paperwork and I just felt like they were trying to manage my time and my life. I just needed some time in general I wasn't ready to keep running mindlessly. Also I might be "depressed" but I hate that word. Since I read the last self help book I'm gonna call it some mini "emotional collapse" even though I don't know what that is for sure. Emotional Collapse being the new term and otherwise my code word for depression which I associate with pills. In my mind depression is a terminal illness of the soul.
As part of my lay-off I received an authorization for training because our jobs were out-sourced basically.
> The Trade Adjustment Assistance (TAA) Program is a federal program established under the Trade Adjustment Assistance Reauthorization Act of 2015 that provides aid to workers who lose their jobs or whose hours of work and wages are reduced as a result of increased imports.
I've been procrastinating believing that the unemployment just wouldn't be enough for me to get by and take classes for any substantial amount of time.
Well I made some phone calls today and I'm trying to figure it out. I'm sorta depressed that I'm so old but I still have to look closer at the benefits in case there really is something I can make out of it. Now I am freaking out because I don't know what kind of deadline there is for the TAA.
If I were to do it I would have to figure out what course I would take. CRY...... I'm not really crying. I'm totally fine. Still just even getting started with any of this paperwork makes me feel discouraged. I always feel like it's just not going to work out.
Also I think I am missing a form. But I may have missed critical deadlines and I will just have to accept it if it's the case. I'm waiting for a phone call. If any of this does pan out I would have to enroll fall quarter somewhere.
I will have to headout tomorrow and find someone I can talk to in person about the TAA stuff.
I just have to see through the hoops and keep on filling junk out and making appointments even if I'm frustrated I just have to move forward no matter what the outcome is with it. Better late than never maybe. It's a self starter situation and I should have done this in May. Here it is end of July.
Seems wrong to haphazardly pick out a course. Also maybe just taking steps is better than nothing even if I don't have a solid plan. I just can't see the future I really can't think that far ahead.
Meh:
Yes they may have missed out on $4,000 worth of pay because I really don't understand how the system works but I also wasn't ready and I thought I could stop and start a claim at any time. well stop-and-start legitimately when I'm actually taking classes. Yes I will do schitts like this and then I will complain that I don't have enough money for something like therepy it's voice recognition
Meh:
Yes it's definitely self-defeating maybe not exactly self-destructiveI do stuff like this because I feel like I just don't care sometimes like I'm tired and I don't want to deal with it and talking angrily into my phone
Taking a break how to go to some hippie food place got a late lunch early dinner bring a book with me current ready for an exciting day tomorrow inside an employment office. they can actually force me to apply for a job I don't want it feels like that's what's happening I know that's what's happening a lot of people find a way around it end up getting what they want out of it training or better job
Meh:
Maybe I'm just confusing myself I'll just find out tomorrow. I knew I wasn't ready to start looking for jobs I just want to take a break so for that reason I wasn't requesting a weekly check. I applied when I lost my job but I never opened the claim and submitted all the weekly information and I didn't get any checks however they still asked me why I haven't been looking for a job. I just told them I wasn't ready. But I don't like the question supposed to be a free country. and frankly I don't care about their stupid system and I don't want to read all their rules lol see I have an inner petulant teenage idiot inside of me this is really how I think sometimes but it really is stupid. I'm sure it's way more simplethan it seems to be and I should just relax. Actually did pretty good in school for the most part I just never finished it which also really annoys me that I didn't finish it
Meh:
I think that behind my complaints are real feelings it just comes out as constant complaining. Do you know sometimes it's just multiple feelings of discouragement and frustration along the way that it just lodge there. show us like feeling start to develop a life of their own to the point where they're just totally uncontrollable. Pretty frustrated at this juncture of my life I'm looking at taking classes but they're not like an interesting classes on top of an already established career. Just kind of like a non-career classes situation. Definitely I can't voice any of these feelings inside of an employment office. I need to get the paperwork and the deadlines and I need to already decide for myself if I can take classes what are those classes going to be they're really not going to help me make that decision at all. And on some level maybe I should just make an intuitive decision about it. taking quizzes and interest inventories etc etc that stuff never works for . Literally one time I did that and I said I should be a helicopter pilot. They're not practical. Frustrated with my own inaction.guess I need to make sure that these complaints just end up being problem solving.
So facts and deadlines. Homemade with a specialist so I can figure out the deadlines. if I can make the deadlines then I have to figure out a budget. and then if I can do the budget I guess I have to figure out the choices. And just make a decision.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version