Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Yard
lighter:
The Cowboy neighbors invited us for Oktoberfest last night. My sister and I ran over for an hour for brats, homemade sourkraut and potato salad. Was all very yummy on their big smoker/ grill.
I enjoyed chatting up the wives and one single gal....she just sold her late mum's house to the Cowboy's grown son, who was very chatty and happy at dinner. Usually he's very sour, but not last night.
Yes, the Yelly Guy was there with his lovely wife. I walked by him and said hello to all the boys without looking his way, then headed for the kitchen to help out with food.
I'm not gonna peck out details with this one finger, but YG was weird, more than once and generally tried to talk to me, speaking as though I'm a skittish bird, low and slow, once about my truck tires. Once to offer me a beer. I say no to everything about him and didn't say goodnight when we left. He texted ,"goodnight" and I ignored him. Really icky.
My sister said he came into my yard when I came home after running around all afternoon. I didn't see him, but sis said he apologized for being drunk. He said they'd all been drinking for hours, which I could plainly see for myself.
Sis just left the yard and didn't make him feel better.
As I dug out Halloween decorations from under the house I resented thinking about how loud I'd shout for him to leave if he poked his head into the crawl space. I like my crawlspace, btw. He's not gonna ruin it for me. I was happy my mind didn't run to worry about physically encountering his 6 foot something frame in such a small space. I think I'd win, btw.
lighter:
The super thick,super healthy miss in the backyard has a fungus circular patterned problem I've been defeated by. I have to give up the moss there and now also in the front yard as retired nurse has decided she prefers the color of weeds and grass to moss and will no longer use Preen on her adjoining little plot.
I've seen Yelly guy chatting her up, doing favors for her and crossing through her yard to access the trails so MY intuition tells me she's upset with me over his winging about things he tells her I've said and done. I go back and forth over saying nothing to her and doing what I need in the yard ( she won't be happy with btw) OR having an honest chat and discussing her real problem with me before I salt the earth and build a wall.
On a happier note,vmy sister and I spent a couple hours at the cowboy's house catching up, talking about real estate, the island ( Cowboy wants to go and has mad skills, woluld be welcome) so I know Yelly guy hasn't soured them on me. In fact, I don't see him over there with his wife any longer and wonder if they had a falling out. I know cowgirl and yelly guy's wife were very close so cowcouple would choose her over yelly guy if there were problems there. That automatically means I'll be ok with them.....I think.
I was chatting to my other next door neighbor and the nurse kept cutting her off when she asked me questions so it's not in my mind. I just went back to pulling weeds on the border of our yards.....and steaming about whether or not our shared side yard with amazing miss has can remain moss or not. It's SO gorgeous but no one uses it, particularly me. I can simply explain end the natural ground cover around my Hemlocks. The little strip of moss next to her house can go back to weeds and dirt and I'll still have 2 perfectly mossed side yards and many tree circles to enjoy and care for.
I realize I need a bit of space and time to find my chill before making decisions.
Letting go of so much moss is easier than I thought it would be. It helped heal me and now I can let it go.
Lighter
Hopalong:
I'm sorry, Lighter.
It's painful to feel you're being gossiped about.
I hope enough mellow neighborly bonds remain to keep you at peace.
I guess the old "good fences make good neighbors" might stand for psychological boundaries too. I am close to two neighbors but really went through it at one time with the gardening one, the British woman. We had a falling out but over time I could tell she regretted it and both forgiveness and genuinely wanting each other to be well, came through for us both. She's prickly but good at heart, and most of her intense stuff was just her insecurity.
We still socialize some and since she has a partner now, she's much mellower. We help each other and sometimes just have a glass of wine and a yak. She likes to have parties and often includes me. I don't always go but appreciate the invites.
Hope moss heals and hearts heal.....
hugs
Hops
Hopalong:
PS Speaking of yards, a friend of mine and her hubby brought me 2 free trees today -- a red maple and a pecan. Soon after my lawn guy showed up with his crew and planted them, along with a dogwood I had them move. A little triad of great trees I'll likely never see at their full growth, but it made me so happy.
I have a big unbroken expanse of back yard I haven't been able to do a lot to, but that has always felt a little empty. This little "grove" near the center will make this ground better and more beautiful for decades to come.
I also decide not to grow veggies this year. I'm going to keep the focus on my house and my health/reconditioning, so am just covering the beds with biodegradable paper stuff (cool insulating brown paper that came all winter with grocery deliveries) to let that rot in, let the soil rest and improve, and next spring if I'm up to it, I'll try again. Felt great relief, since my gardening ambitions had been exceeding my abilities or motivation. It's a year off, that's all, and hopefully not more.
lighter:
Ahhhh, lovely to watch newly planted trees grow, Hops. And good for you taking a gardening break to focus on yourself. It's hard work.
I'm meeting with my moss friend today.....and researching salting the earth which feels a little wrong, but also SO right.
Lighter
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