Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Mindfulness and codependence thread
lighter:
We LOVE cauliflower in this house, Tupp: )
All kinds of ways, so it's funny you dreamed I brought a lorry full to you.
We just made 5 batches of veggie soups, and I've been enjoying them so much. What an odd coincidence you had that dream.
I think we will have a visit one day, btw. I'm not sure how or why, but I feel it' s a matter of when, not if.
Lighter
Lighter
lighter:
An amazing thing happened last week. I found VHS tapes my father put together from old family 8mm film.
It was jarring to see my Grandparents, youngand strong. So active. Training horses. Trotting my baby father around on a pony. Super fit. Charismatic. My father's naughty uncles in Naval uniforms, jumping on horses, ruding like movie stars....it looked dangerous and exhilarating.
Then the years passed and my father became an active toddler, child, teen and young adult...getting married with naughty uncles in his wedding.
By naughty, I mean mysoginists....lacking empathy for animals. I saw my Great Grandfather....the man who raised and beat my paternal Grandmother bloody....saw him moving and interacting in the family. The uncles marrying. Having babies....cousins flipping around together, doing cartwheels and younger cousins trying it too.
Lots of emotions, but mostly this truth...
we don't understand how fast life goes by, then it's over. You can see my Grandparents, SO busy, didn't know those moments would be gone so soon. Like they were trying to tell me to WAKE UP!
I saw what my FOO was....what they loved...what they lost and left behind.
I want more of the things I love. To protect them fiercely and limit wasted time and people who take my attention from what's important to me.
I can feel when I'm on my path. It's not everyone's path. It's mine and everyone doesn't have to approve of it.
Lighter
Hopalong:
--- Quote ---It's mine and everyone doesn't have to approve of it.
--- End quote ---
A big fat Amen to that, Lighter! Good for you.
Glad you found so many layers of meaning in the old movies.
Sounded like a very clarifying moment.
hugs
Hops
lighter:
Thanks, Hops.
I walked outside with the Pug and started picking up sticks and weeds....Halloween decorations....had truck towed to beloved mechanic....helped ailing neighbor get groceries inside....will get card from their roofer, currently sticking shingles off the roof.
What I noticed was other people's voices pressuring me to do what's important to them.....all in my head, if course.
That's stopping.....now, as I notice it.
I stopped bargaining with myself, which was a type of pressure leading to nothing good.
Now, I'm going to end the adrenaline shots running through my life. Taking care of other people's feelings and what they feel are priorities, for me. Reacting to their anxiety shuts down my ability to assess and process, prioritize and respond.
Codependence, Lawdy, deliver me from it.
At least I'm aware and not auto judging what comes up.
Lighter
Hopalong:
--- Quote ---Taking care of other people's feelings and what they feel are priorities, for me. Reacting to their anxiety shuts down my ability to assess....
--- End quote ---
Yegods, Lighter. That's SO wise. The anxiety hijack and how it interferes with healthy caring. You must've been a fly on the wall in my T session just now!
Plus, I really like the term "auto judging." That is really apt. And helpful.
hugs
Hops
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version