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lighter:
Thanks for providing that info, Hops.  I enjoyed it very much.

Lighter

Meh:
I'm feeling irritable, a rather consistent thing for me.

A) I haven't been sleeping well and I can't get my sleep cycle back on track
B) I'm getting burnt out on online schoolwork
     *** There is too much of it
     *** I can't get away from it
     *** Too much computer time
     *** The more I stress the more I want to procrastinate against it
C) I'm lonely
D) I'm kind of stressed for various reasons. What's new?
E) My crazy b**** mother insists on talking down to me like a naughty six year old, it's sick, she is an F-ing sicko
    *** Less is more

 

Hopalong:
Hey, Posh.

Got two things for you.

1) Ashwagandha. Twice a day.

2) An air hug from a heart that hears you.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Irritability can come from stress, boredom, depression, isolation, family stress and so much more. (Pandemic anyone?)

There's nothing weird about you for feeling this way, you only need to take some private notes on a pad until you convince yourself that a plan or an approach or an effort or a search for help or a way of claiming your individual dignity and right to hope for better....are what you're entitled to.

You've dealt with a whole lot of crap and loss and struggle and pain and sadness.

Is there ANY way you can get some one-on-one therapy? I can't describe how surprised I've been by how comfortable Zoom sessions have become. Took a few times to get there but now, I'm deeply comforted and helped by each conversation with her, every week.

hugs
Hops

Meh:
I've already seen therapists when I was younger and this is where it's gotten me. Some countries and cultures don't really believe in therapists it's sort of a first world problem for rich people. It would clear me out.

Hopalong:
Clear you out financially, you mean? That sucks.

I hear what you're saying. I guess if therapy has been negative in the past, I'd feel the same way. For me, it's been a different experience every time--because I was at a different place in my life and my understanding of myself and telling it to a different person. So maybe they're not all useless. (I had one bad one, the rest did help.)

But it's a very personal choice.
I hope something creative will sustain you until this damn thing's over.

hugs
Hops

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