On my mother's side of the family, grandmother appeared to have some undiagnosed thing that looked like very hyper behavior, anger, frustration, Narcissism or Bipolar IDK. She was smart and high functioning but terrible parent, alcoholic taking valium. She had three kids, my uncle, mother, aunt. All three have had anxiety disorders/depression. My uncle was officially diagnosed with OCD by a psychiatrist but doesn't take meds for it. He has money for therapy and I think that is what he does. Apparently the meds haven't worked well on him but he has tried it I think. My aunt has money and probably does a lot of therapy, it's not known what meds she has tried or is currently taking. My mother takes citalopram and without it she is a royal blotch, very irritable and impatient. My mother and Aunt both tend to drink a lot. My brother drank a lot, he had anxiety and I'm not sure what else.
Not sure why I am writing this out. Sometimes I forget I am impacted by anxiety and depression because I accept it as normal but my normal isn't other people's normal.
I've been pretty clean my whole life I can't blame anxiety and emotional problems on substance use, the only thing I use consistently is coffee, coffee like crazy, obviously some people say that is bad for anxiety but even when I stop drinking coffee I can have sleepless nights. So anyhow. I'm just writing this out for my own reality check because whatever I deal with is certainly exacerbated.. like everybody else right now, this pandemic stuff and bad news is just nuts.
