Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
DD18 seeing nutritional response practitioner (NRP)
lighter:
I am profoundly grateful for every response.
Yesterday was recovery from travel in tandem with prepping 3 rooms for carpet removal and demolition.
And more travel.
I read your response, CB, while pumping gas in SC. There's still no gas in Asheville. DD20 won't have gas enough to get to work tomorrow if something doesn't open up.
I finished reading responses just now and....again.....I have such gratitude. There are no words to express the depth of validation and compassion I feel.
I'll take a break later and re read. You've all said things, in your own ways..... It helps me find perspective and calm.
Lighter
lighter:
Once we got home.....I can't remember what day that was....Sunday? Yes. Sunday. We settled in to the house and it was a balm to all or our souls.
Youngest had huge burst of energy... she went straight to her room and began editing an organizing.
Oldest DD sought out time with me. She asked me to sleep in her bed with her when she was feeling ill from the J&J vaccine. I was happy to. Baby girl pug stayed in her bed, on the floor.... no whining. Everyone slept well.
I pulled myself out of the girls' problems and focused on myself, my jobs, my priorities.... it's difficult to switch away from the girls as priorities. I see that now. I see I'm not doing anyone any favors. It's time to let them grow up while expressing confidence in their ability to handle whatever comes their way.
After suggesting DD18 research a select an eating disorder T, she came to me a day later and said she'd been very busy doing just that. She didn't find anyone, however and talked about the things she finds difficult in the process. I didn't try to fix it for her. I didn't make any suggetions. I just repeated back what she said to me and asked her how she was going to figure it out. She's still figuring and I'm feeling so much better.....now.
Oldest is still making sad choices around food. I keep my mouth closed and focus on other things. Sometimes I talk about what I'm eating an why.... not often, but that's it.
I have a new tablet and keyboard so I'm finally able to post with more than my right index finger. Whoo hoo.
DD18 and I met with nuritionist this afternoon. Both our gallbladders and adrenals are ON. Our Sympathetic Nervous systems (SNS) are also ON. She said our stomachs took a hit, and we knew exactly why.....Thai meal last night.... so darned good. Nutritionist said our SNS might take a hit too,but maybe not.
All in all, I feel pretty good.More energy. Moving closer to fitting into my amazing jeans... again. I have to take them back to the tailor and have her sew them back together again. She used them for a pattern...... wasn't at all fruitful.
I'm not on a mission to lose weight, I realize. What I am is appalled that "eating" regular food does so much damage to my bodies ability to function......handle toxins, etc. I'm gf...... always. I don't eat much, if any, stupid fast food, yet my system is overwhelmed and taxed and unable to do perform.
I'm feeling less anger and mourning. Maybe I'm on the downhill slope. Things do seem to be easier, I will say that. Not sure how much is being home after you guys talked me out of my tree last week.
Maybe my brain has detoxed properly. I know I have to eat enough protein and fat to avoid sweet cravings. Salt cravings are usually stress related. I can add a little pink salt to my water to help that. I can add some grated apple to meatballs or grapes to chicken salad too...... I really enjoy chicken salad with lots of celery, Primal Kitchen regular mayo and grapes..... red grapes. I boil 2 chickens for an hour, take them out, pull meat off and slow cook the bones for 24 hours..... just under a simmer. If I boil them the bones break down and taste of liver, yuck.
I'm feeling less at the mercy of. The responses you wrote helped that happen.
Lighter
lighter:
DD18 is on a chocolate kick. I mean.... dark chocolate. This child never ever liked chocolate, so it's kind of dsconcerting to watch her eat so much of it. Chocolate protein crackers, gf...... semi sweet baking chocolate......sugar free dark chocolate... she can't eat the 90%, but she likes everythig under that.
Nutritionis said it's a sign of deficiencies..... magnesium being a common one. Sure enough, magnesium tested strong so we added that and a good all around vitamin.
DD is eating every meal, joining in planning, shopping, cooking and general discussions...... she's engaged and on board, in other words. This means I'm doing really well and focusing on the lake renovation. I check in with her, but striing a balance concerns me. It takes energy and I'm really enjoying a recent uptick in energy. It's in my nature to go down rabbit holes, research bathtubs to death, then select the best choice with a decent shipping date, zero yellowing and fewer reviews of product arrriving damaged, etc. 90% research, 10% execution, in all things, if I can swing it. DD is more important than deep soaker tubs whick are tougher to find than you'd guess and more expensive than they should be, IMO.
Lighter
lighter:
--- Quote from: Twoapenny on May 16, 2021, 07:05:39 AM ---
These sorts of things are so difficult to navigate through but can you imagine how much easier all of your struggles would have been if you'd had someone there to cook you healthy meals, drive you to places, talk through things that were troublesome, give you a hug and tell you that you're amazing, strong, loved, wanted, cherished? That level of comfort you give to your girls, along with the practical skills and just the investment you're willing to make in them - they may not be fully aware of it at the age they're at but it's setting them in such good stead for the future. They'll get there, Lighter, it might not be in a linear way, it might not be quick and it might seem a bit inelegant at times but they'll cross that finish line, because they've got you. xx xx
--- End quote ---
Tupp, thank you for that. It was really comforting to read.
Lghter
lighter:
Amber, CB and Hops:
I don't understand the whys of anorexia either, but I do believe it's cultural, mostly. DD18 seems to believe that too. It also involves control an feeling unsafe. No doubt about that, IMO.
CB: I have such compassion for your struggle with the food and your childrens' mental health struggles. It feels like the struggle is IN my chest and heart, but it's inside my children. I'd carry them both, take their medicine and do their work if it would help them. I know it won't.
You're right, Hops.... I can't fix it myself. Running around trying is crazy making. It makes me less responsive. I'm trying really hard to gain some distance, breathe and focus on supporting, not fixing. Dropping delusion so I can see real strategies seems clear....now. It didn't last week.
Now.... breakfast. DD18 is having what she refers to as her OCD shower.
Lighter
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