Just when you have a plan and feel great and things happily moving forward

[Hopalong]

I think it's easy to find one's own boundaries of self readily dissolve when another's situation triggers memories of situations in our own lives.

Even here, I'm not comfortable responding to the scenarios you bring up just now. Your cultural/justice questions and WHYS are so very valid -- we could talk about those for ages. But fear, hypervigilance, anxiety and DANGER DANGER pour off your posts about many people you care about and are concerned about.

I feel it'd be harmful to talk with specific references to individuals in the situation about someone else right now, so I can't chime in. I'm not thinking there is direct or immediate danger because sensible plans and rational thinking are underway, despite the stress of it. I don't want my comments to tilt in the direction of MORE fear, MORE dangerdangerdanger messages. When someone is already battling anxiety, I think this could add stress or even push over edges. It might soothe MY triggered/CoD anxieties but add to theirs. I think there's no space now for more fear, more DANGER DANGER shouts. With anxiety, it's pouring gas on embers, imo.

I do understand that you care and why it's so triggering --

Hugs,
Hops

[lighter]

Hops:

I'm not feeling hypervigilent. I feel like there's answers to dispell the confusion around these questions....and I'm just missing them. I'm not switched. I'm not feeling cornered or caged or triggered as I turn the puzzles around in my hand, searching for answers.

I'm curious why the problems are so difficult to pin down and solve.... for some and not others, at least.  My ex BIL had a helicopter flying over his home when he imagined homosexual midgets... he hid in the closet while the police closed in to "save" him.  So odd. 

My brother would say everyone has their own dragons to sleigh.

But there are people getting paid to deal with dragons....
IME there are good people who stand up to dragons,bc it's the right thing to do.....
most of the time it's the good people doing the right thing, not bc they have to,but bc they are people who do the right thing, bc it's the right thing. I remind myself of this every so often....when I forget the truth of it.  I've seen it with my own eyes... heard them with my own ears. Been saved by them more than once, myself. 

Having spent a good amount of time training law enforcement officers, newbies, old timers, swat teams...... I have to wonder.

Why aren't we training them better, leading them better requiring them to do their jobs according the law?
We don't train them well, IME.
I have a friend who knows a specially trained officer who claims they're very well trained, but that's not the majority of officers, IME. 

For me, it goes back to leadership.  Every time I see a cop punished for egegious or deadly conduct I think.......why isn't the top brass standing there with the cop, dealing with the consequences of what their trained hire DID?

I do hope this thread isn't creating more fear.  I didn't intend for it to.  I think there are resources and strategies for approaching those resources, so we're heard and not dismissed or punished...... and nothing remains the same.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

I hear you, Light.
And I'm struggling to contain my own boundaries, so probably don't need to be bossing anybody else around. My "rescue" impulses backfire, for sure. So I'm probably projecting.

I totally understand your frustration over accountability in our society and in our social welfare and justice systems.

I think accountability really is the core of the frustration. Military or other "protective" hierarchical organizations should instill it, but sometimes they just instill power.

My sense of a solution is so so big and slow and generational. It's education ABOUT authority, responsibility, psychological health and character. I think for the most part, our culture has abandoned our children to complex forces, many of them media and online, and we're all looking somewhat desperately now that the culture has backfired to authorities -- only half of whom understand the depth of their responsibilities, much less have meticulous consciences, which are costly to careers.

I have let go of railing about the unfairness of all that. To me, given my age, it's now about one person in one structure and talking to them one at a time. Plus voting. And maintaining my own human values. The Big System is too big for me.

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Changing systems is large, whonkey, time consuming work.

I'm convinced it won't be our generation making meaningful change.

It's always been the younger generations, IMO.

Oldest DD21 has been chatting with her friends about school..... teaching some of everything.... morals...... the world..... OR training children up to perform particular jobs after CHOOSING what those jobs are FOR THEM.

She's looking at schools and careers.... immmersed in it and very pleased to I'm focused on education in the US.

We can't save the people who broke the system, failed to change the system or are benefitting through the broken system.  They're lost.  Beyond hope and help, IMO.

We're going to have to teach the kids to do better and maybe we have to die before that's possible..... or everyone has to start voting?

Not sure, but I've been interested in the education system since my late teens....... the dialectics of it. It's failing.  Always failed,but it's where we begin change, IME.  I SEE it.  I can't figure out the fixing of it.  The sociopaths in charge would likely prefer to tank everything rather than admit change is necessary. 

As long as the powerful have the power....and can tank everything...... so much like dealing with an ASPD N.... IME..... holding so many things and people hostage.  Making dirty deals, for those who can stomach it, is necessary.  I don't think I have the stomach.

But nothing stays the same. We'll die, the N's in charge will die....and our children and grandchildren will replace them. Slowly, so slowly, things can change. New Ns will rise, but maybe not remain as ignorant or void of curiosity?  Maybe care about the vault for their pennies, which is this earth, enough to consider allowing changes, if they aren't leading to make change.

Our healthcare system...... slowly slowly will change, IMO.

When willful ignorance and education collide.  When the next generation refuses to perpetuate and support the broken system and politicians blindly and things start pulling in a more generally same direction. When the young people take office and outnumber the old guard..... THAT will be where systems begin moving toward what's best for everyone....I think.

It's the young people who will save themselves. 

Or not.

Lighter

[Hopalong]

That's a wonderful take on it all, Lighter.

I think we olders owe it to the next generation to fight alongside them, as much as we're able. I'm a keyboard warrior (definition: mostly useless) but do have future generations on my mind a great deal.

Not a street fighter nor brave protester. I do wield a word-sword pretty often, and am locally active in an organization that I think actually makes a difference on the ground in speaking truth to local government. We've made SERIOUS headway on affordable housing, a major problem here. A trust fund. Shaming the ridiculously wealthy surrounding country into ponying up for it, too.

How the foot? Still boot-scooting?
Hope it's better. Can't imagine doing all you do with foot pain.

hugs,
Hops

[lighter]

There's fighting/educating/resisting  and then there's saving/implementing sweeping changes to entire systems as they stand, IMO.  I'm not seeing sweeping changes in the direction I think they need to go.

We're fighting, but the kids will have to save themselves, IMO.

Not saying our generation or the next won't.  I'm just saying.....
it seems like the kind of change we're talking about will require
the people in charge, running the systems, be removed....which
feels like them dying off.... rather than being voted out. 

If we could change, we would have changed. I don't think the penal, education and judicial systems, as they stand will get much leverage with the people at the top content to get rich, pillage and plunder the world at their children's expenses...... they won't ever care if they don't. Their children will have to care, IMO. Some will.


Fighting IS teaching, I'm afraid, Hops. 
 

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Not the only form of teaching, though.

Sometimes kindness or a gentle example do get through.

Watched a fascinating interview today. Just remarkable.
I found it moving and illuminating--
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0aSN1cPJ9FM&t=5s

hugs
Hops

[lighter]

Was referring to your keyboard warrior comment, Hops.

Not actual combat, in regard to this thread.

Lighter o

[lighter]

Yes, Hops.

Keyboard warriors like David Pacman.

It's fighting ignornance.  It's educating.

Lighter