Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Old Topic just same Fing narcissism

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Meh:

Yeah, I'm not a person that falls asleep easily in front of a noisy TV screen like some people like.

I do like quiet quite a bit.

Meh:

I feel lonely. I also don't want to date anybody I just magically wish I had more family around. But I think this is also a weird feeling I get when I move I guess.

A while ago a friend had asked me if I wanted to look for a rental with her and I'm now feeling like I should have taken her up on the idea. If I move closer into the city the rents are higher and the traffic and parking is worse but there are more jobs. Bleh.

lighter:
Have you checked in with the friend looking for a roommate lately, Meh?

Maybe a visit's in order?

Meh:

Oh, that friend I do keep in touch with. They don't currently have any open rooms in their house I asked. It's women from her church which I'm not a part of.

Meh:
So, I bought a used car yesterday. I've never purchased a car before believe it or not. It cleared out most of my bank account considering I've been stranded without a car, paying rent but NOT working, so I've wasted a lot of money doing nothing. The car has no warranty, & I got the most basic insurance possible SO I hope I just keep it together for at least the next 12 months. Since I do live in an area with NOT a lot of traffic I still thought it is a chance for me to get used to driving again. I had lived in the city for most of my adult life and didn't drive I just took public transit to work and did F-all in the city I guess. It feels hard to account for how I've spent the last 5-10 years of my life like it's been kinda pointless. So I signed a bunch of forms yesterday. Managed to get my relatives to come with me to a car dealership because THAT was also far away. Deep sigh. I got in the car today and drove around on the backroads here where all I had to avoid was deer and some contruction crews. I knew I needed to get over some anxiety about this. I'm such a loser lol... there are 20-year-olds who are lifetimes ahead of me. I'm afraid to get on the freeway but I guess eventually I will. In fact maybe I can wake up insanely early on Sunday morning and just get on the freeway and hope for the best like an idiot. There shouldn't be very many people out if I wake up early enough. I know it sounds stupid but it's been MANY years since I drove in heavy traffic or on the highway. I just have to do it. At least here is Google maps so I can kind of pre-plot where I am going and all.

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