Resolutions, anyone??????

[What is Love?]

Though I speak with the tongues of mens and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  and though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Love suffers long AND is kind;
Love does not envy;
Love does not parade itself
is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely;
does not seek its own
is not provoked
thinks no evil
does not rejoice in iniquity,
but rejoices in truth
bears all things
believes all things
hopes in all things
endures all things
Love   never   fails!

Corinthians 13:1 - 7

ALL THE KNOWLEDGE IN THE WORLD, ALL THE GREATEST ADVICE, ALL THE WEALTH OF INFORMATION AND BENEFITS OF EXPERIENCE CANNOT BE IMPARTED WITH A PURPOSE, OR RECEIVED WITH WELCOME IF IT IS NOT DELIVERED IN LOVE.  DELIVERY IS EVERYTHING.  SUSPEND YOUR JUDGMENTS.  PUT AWAY YOUR CONDEMNATION OF EACH OTHER.  REMEMBER, THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I.  DO NOT BE PUFFED UP AND FULL OF YOURSELF.  REMEMBER, THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I.  REMEMBER WHERE YOU'VE BEEN AND HOW FAR YOU'VE COME.  REMEMBER THERE FOR THE GRACE OF GOD GO I.  REMEMBER WHERE YOU ARE NOW.  WORK ON BECOMING THE BEST PERSON YOU CAN BE AND BE KIND, KIND, KIND TO OTHERS IN WORD AND IN DEED.  WORDS CAN BE POWERFULLY PAINFUL, NOT MATTER HOW WELL INTENDED.
REMEMBER                                              HAPPY NEW YEAR[/b][/color]

[Anonymous]

Hi guest,
I appreciate your "resolution". It is a great reminder that the way we treat others is "POWERFUL".

It also brings up an ocean of emotions. I just have to commnet on this before this year ends - next year I vow to be even happier than I have managed to become this year!

My Nparents proclaim to be "holy". They think of themselves as the shear essence of religion, following the bible, in god's good graces, and only they are holy enough for heaven.

As I read the scripture you quoted, I realize where all my questions have stemmed from. I remember learning this scripture many, many years ago. I was taught it through many lessons in church, many messages, had to memorize it. I took it to heart and I have been a loving friend and person all my life, but not by example as I learned love from my family.

I want to take just a few minutes (for myself, if I may) to disect this scripture and finally realize my confusion.

"Though I speak with the tongues of mens and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

Nparents proclaimed to speak god's words and know what god meant for me. They punished me with words from god. I was never loved...

and though I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains but have not love, I am nothing.

Nparents proclaimed to know everything about me and I knew nothing, they decided I was a stupid failure, a whore, a nothing, an ugly duckling from birth. They claimed their faith in god would change me into a decent human being worthy of living. But if their faith did not change me, they would take my life from me so I could no longer embarrass them. I was not loved...


And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

Nparents said everyone else on earth, rich, poor, loved, unloved, deserved more than I could ever deserve. Nparents gave away my stuff so I would not become vain. Nparents now say I should give my money to my sister because she married a pastor and is doing god's work and I don't deserve my hard earned money. I am not loved...

Love suffers long AND is kind;
I've never known a kind moment in Nparents life towards me

Love does not envy;
Nmom is extremely jealous of my life and my sister's life

Love does not parade itself
is not puffed up;
don't want to go there...

does not behave rudely;
does not seek its own
is not provoked
thinks no evil
does not rejoice in iniquity,
but rejoices in truth
Nparents provoked me just for kicks so they could hit me
Nparents were demeaning to me in public and private just for kicks, it made them laugh
Nparents are the essence of evil
Nparents are liars to justify their truth

bears all things
believes all things
hopes in all things
endures all things
Love never fails! "
Corinthians 13:1 - 7

Nparents are disgusted that I am not a failure
Nparents blame me for all of there wrongdoings

I'm right - I was never loved...by my Nparents

I'm sorry if I offended anyone, but when you lived for as many years as I have, hearing your parents preach at you about how perfect they are and how you have ruined their life, but the reality is that you are a good person, a successful person with a loving family....this scripture just doesn't make any sense at all.

After all, we were taught from infancy that our parents love us unconditionally and only do what's loving and right for us, RIGHT!!!!!??????

I was confused about what love is - but I now know that what my Nparents claimed, was not love. What I have in my heart - is LOVE.

I'm grateful to have lived yet another year to have more opportunities to show love to others.

You never know who you might run in to that has really never felt love.

It's a year to spread love and feel loved.

    My resolution - I resolve to not contact Nparents all year.

    I resolve to not be intimidated into fearing my Nparents ever again.

    I reslove to continue next year as I am finishing this year - choosing my way, making my decisions based on my choices, never taking Nparents feelings or voices in my head into consideration ever again!

thank you for starting this thread - it is empowering!

[The Power to Change . .]

on anyone else.

Your parents have the power to change who you are only if you allow them to.  Today, you can choose to be different.  Today you can choose to emulate the person that these scriptures describe despite your parents hypocracy and lies.  Today you can choose to become the person that you always were, without their mislabeling of you and reshaping of you.  You have the power to do that, if you only choose to.

I posted this here because despite all the time that this board has been up others who are recovering from being "voiceless" are still intolerant, badgering and unconsoling to those who are in pain.  They have forgotten from whence they came, and perhaps feel empowered by being the one who "knows" what to do rather than the one who doesn't know what to do.

A little kindness goes a long way, that is the message of this thread.  And to those who may try to miss that message, as I'm sure they will, or try to bypass the message and ignore it, remember:

A LITTLE KINDNESS GOES A LONG WAY


This message is being sent in love, and it is my hope that everyone here can accept it as such.

[Portia]

Happy kind, gentle, new year to all who wish it for themselves.

[Anonymous]

---to all who wish it for themselves.

what a peculiar greeting.thanks-- er--I think

[Portia]

Happy kind, gentle, new year to all who wish it for themselves.

I imagine not everyone in the world necessarily wants a gentle new year but I do wish it for you if you wish it for yourself. If you wish for a tougher or challenging new year, I wish you that too, or instead. For example, for anyone who needs to be angry or sad, I wish them safe passage through that anger or sadness.

I wish you a new year that you wish for yourself - whatever you want! I didn't mean to be peculiar, but I know I can appear to be, thanks for giving me the opportunity to respond, P

[HUG&C]

Sheeew P!!! --Ya makes a doubly sweet sugar plum pie be lookin' on the sour side, love!  

I juss had ta come on out 'n tell ya true-P  Ya've become a genuine thang 'a eleequence 'n beauty--  

Ya growed ma heart today-P, 'n golly gee wilikers if I ain't used ma good holiday hankychief over it--   Them thar winds 'o change dun went 'n blowed a mighty puffin' over it all--P

I juss gots ta give ya yer props, n' salutations of the season-P-- it juss 'ain't good 'n right othewise  {{P}}  

[Portia]

Hey HUG&C

Nice to see you again! Hope you're doing just fine and greetings of the season to you too. May you too have what you wish for yourself in 2005. And thank you for your surreal reality checks on me in 2004. I mean that, you did help, and I reckon you know that. (((HUG&C))) P

[Guests]

Bringing this to the top.