I guess I hope it would be helpful to understand WHY my sister has such a strong need to overlook my Nmother's horrible behavior. I get very frustrated with her making excuses for our Nmother all the time. She also makes comments about my therapist "taking my side" too much on things, which is frustrating. My therapist simply understands the difficult dynamics of me having an Nmother and now a dead father.
Anyway... I feel like I can be honest with my sister about everything EXCEPT our mother, so I think I'd like to better understand her to see if it can help me on this level. She also wants me to come with her to see her therapist to discuss our Nmother and I'm not sure that's a great idea. If my sister is an N or isn't ready to see our Nmother as such, it may cause her to reject me. Plus she is pregnant, due with her first child in 6 weeks. May not be a great time to deal with it....
I am a middle child, my sister is the youngest. My older brother easily sees our Nmother as such and barely struggles with keeping her at arms length, although he is sometimes the recipient of her nasty attacks anyway -- usually toward his awfully misbehaved children (according to our Nmother, of course).
Maybe more on this all soon. I need to get back with my H and kids

Cindi