Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
A New Generation to Come...
Jaded911:
Amen Hope.
Could not have said it any better then that. There is nothing in the world that compares to looking at your child for the first time.
Of course you girls do know that your little girls turn out to be teenage girls, YIKES. Ya just gotta love teenagers. Well, ya just gotta refrain at times with teenagers, but ya still love them.
Anonymous:
Thank you, Hope and Jaded for your kind thoughts (and Jaded, I can't help but want to pick out a new handle for you.. "jaded" seems as though you are angry and haven't been healing.. I see so much growth, insight and healing on your part I can't help but think you deserve a better name for yourself :wink: )
I believe you when you say I will fall in love with motherhood sometime after the baby is born. That is the hope I cling to, because I know it will make all of my fears of not having wanted children before go away.
Also I am working closely with a kinesiologist who has promised to help me prevent post-partum with my dietary supplements (she is convinced that most of it is chemical).
It's nice to be able to share this experience with other people on this board.. I visit babycenter.com's boards a lot but of course the concept of narcissism is not discussed.
Recently I shared the news of the baby with my Nmother, and her response is worthy of a whole other thread. I am already feeling myself distancing more from mommie dearest with her recent antics. My Friday visit was only two hours long last week.
The birth experience may be just what I need to complete the process of breaking away emotionally from mother and becoming my true self - yet for years it was my biggest fear. How interesting.
Strangely, I am secretly hoping for a boy (I know, any healthy baby is good, but) because of the emotional turmoil that the women of my family are cursed with. I believe though that God gives us only what we can handle and if there are lessons to be learned with a little girl then those are the cards I am dealt.
Thanks again for your support.
CC:
I was logged in above I don't know what happened - Me (guest) above.
CC
I_am_mine:
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---
Also I am working closely with a kinesiologist who has promised to help me prevent post-partum with my dietary supplements (she is convinced that most of it is chemical).
--- End quote ---
CC, that sounds like a great idea! I had post-partum depression after my 2nd baby, and the doc's solution was to give me a trank, which of course ended the breast-feeding. After talking to many people, and reading lots about the subject, I'm convinced that nutrition/supplements can play a key role in preventing/alleviating post-partum, along with keeping you healthy, which will also be beneficial to your baby. It's great that you're looking to the future, to ensure the best health for you and your baby.
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Recently I shared the news of the baby with my Nmother, and her response is worthy of a whole other thread. I am already feeling myself distancing more from mommie dearest with her recent antics. My Friday visit was only two hours long last week.
--- End quote ---
I am so sorry about your mother's reaction to your wonderful news. I was so blessed, sharing my news with my mom was one of the best parts of each of my pregnancies. Course, my Ndad was an entirely different story, he predicted that I'd turn out to be the bad mother I am today - shoulda listened to him, cause he's always RIGHT! I'm sure you weren't surprised by your mother's reaction, but you were probably still hurt and disappointed. Distancing yourself sounds like a good plan - you really don't need stuff like that, not any time, but especially not now.
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---The birth experience may be just what I need to complete the process of breaking away emotionally from mother and becoming my true self - yet for years it was my biggest fear. How interesting.
--- End quote ---
Have you considered that having a child was such a big fear because your instincts said you weren't ready yet, you hadn't learned what you needed to learn to bring a new life into the world? Now, after what you've gone thru and what you've made yourself learn from it, you are becoming your true self - and your true self is ready and competent to have a child and be the best mom you can be. You have understanding and skills now that you didn't have before - I know there's still an element of apprehension, that's normal (this is totally new, uncharted territory for you), but your true self is aware enough to be able to put aside much of the irrational fear.
--- Quote from: Anonymous ---Strangely, I am secretly hoping for a boy
--- End quote ---
I have to admit to a fondness for boys - could it be because I have 3? I understand your concern about your baby being a girl, and the potential turmoil, but boys have their issues, too. I'm not trying to be an alarmist, but the Nism in my family has affected my boys, but differently than it's affected my sister's girls. And boys are sometimes less vocal about stuff, and more "acting out".
Boys, girls - whatever - they are ALL wonderful and I know when you first look into your baby's eyes, you will see a miracle! Please continue to post on your progress, I am just so very happy for you, and happy for your baby, too - he or she will have a very loving mother!
bobbie
Jaded911:
Bobbie,
You mentioned that N has had its affects on the men in your family as well as with the women. I guess I never thought about this very much before this. Do you notice a difference in the men and the women and the damage they suffered from having N parents? What I guess I am trying to ask is did it make the men strong, outspoken, domineering , etc. With the women being submissive, unsure of their self, scared to speak their minds?
My xN has a sister and I have seen the pattern I describe above in their case. I was just curious if the affects were different between the men and women in your family?
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