Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

A New Generation to Come...

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CC:
That's wonderful, bobbie (what a cute name).  I think your sons will still appreciate it because they see that their mom has the ability to grow and change. Thanks for the good wishes..

I_am_mine:
Thanks, CC - your child will also have the benefit of a mother who has taken the blinders off, and looked at herself and the wold around her in the light of reality.  The pain of what you've already gone through will turn into a positive as you guide your child thru the years.

Thanks for the comment about my name...actually gave me a fit of giggles!  My given name isn't Roberta, but my Ndad's name is Robert, and the nickname was given to me (too bad I wasn't a son  :oops:  :twisted: ) as a result of him being called Bob...Big Bob and Little Bobbie...get it? :wink:  :lol:

Used to bother the heck out of me, but not any more... 8)

bobbie

Anonymous:
CC,
Congratulations about your wonderful news.  I can't relate to having N Parents but none the less my mother was as dysfunctional.  I hope this gives you some encouragement by saying this.  I am a great mother.  I make sure for my childrens well-being that I never allow myself to mirror a woman whom I despise.  When you have that little baby, you will then realize how dysfunctional your mom truly was.  I know I sure did.  

There have been many times when I am alone and I think of how precious my kids are, I begin to have memories surface about the way I was treated as a child.  I can't say the memories do not hurt when they surface.  That last for a very short time then I begin to think about my children and I compare how I am as a parent to how my mom was as a parent.  It is like comparing apples and oranges.  

Just remember how you felt as a child when you look into that babies eyes for the first time, it will hit you like a ton of bricks hun.  You will realize how sick your N parnent was when you realize the love you feel for your child.  Please enjoy every minute of that child.  That is something your N parent never had the pleasure of doing, they were incapable.

Nobody is a perfect parent and if they tell you they are, they are not speaking the full truth.  The love you feel for that baby will wipe away your fears of repeating the pattern.  I know it sure did for me.  I have told my mom on several occassions that if she could have just gotten past us kids being a chore to her, she might have enjoyed all the things she missed out on.  She could never get past the nurturing part of parenting.  Know what, it was her loss, not mine.  You will do great, enjoy every second of it.  It goes by quick!

Jaded911:
CC,
That post was from me.  Silly me, I thought I was logged in. :roll:

hope2003:
CC: congratulations on your pregnancy.

Being a mother is the best thing that ever happened to me.  I experience such joy experiencing the world through their eyes.

I am new to this board, but judging by your insight, you will be a great mother.  The fact that you can articulate your concerns, and have an idea where your weaknesses might be, show that you have the maturity to be a good parent.  Nobody expects you to be perfect, just do the best that you can.

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