Longtire,
I came to a very important conclusion recently. I would rather be alone then to have someone by my side that makes me feel alone. I had to read your posts to answer a couple of questions I had. Did I read right that you are still married to your wife? But then again I didn't sleep at all last night so I probly missed some important details....eeek sorry I had to ask that.
Still married, tried leaving several times, but got panic attacks each time and my mood went back and forth. I stopped trying to leave for a little bit so I could get my footing. I'm getting ready for the next and final try very soon. Like you, I would also rather be alone by myself than alone-and-stuck with someone who is not willing to work on it.
I was just wondering how it would be to be a man in this situation. I know as a woman how it feels to be belittled, ignored, emotionally drained, etc......... It had to be part of the reason why you felt like your maybe's were doomed from the get go.
For me it feels confusing, confounding, aggravating, staggering, frustrating, hopeless, lonely, sad, depressing, draining, bewildering, and never-ending.
who would a thunk that someone could suck the life out of ya so easily? I sure in the world would have placed my bet on me not sticking around for much of that dysfunction. I guess when you love someone you can only hope that your prayers and dreams are answered. You hope the person snaps out of it and you live happily ever after. It just doesnt seem that there are enough prayers and sweet dreams to help these people out of their pits of hell..........its very sad actually if you think about the termoil they must endure inside.
I sure didn't make it easy for her.
Hope is great when its based on reality. A lot of mine was based on my wishes. I'm still working on that one and looking at "what is right now" separate from what I wish for. One thing that helped me break this cycle is realizing that she makes herself way more miserable than she's ever made me!
