Comments non-N's say

[Anonymous]

Anna and OR:

It continually amazes me the lengths Ns will go to to "win".  Even in the face of what is good for your childen.  It is not about the children at all it is about "winning" and being "right".  

This is way out of my league inasmuch as I have never been involved in a custody battle and have only seen it through my girlfriend's eyes.  Just take care of yourself so you can continue this battle.   My heart and prayers are with both of you.

Patz

[d'smom]

I have e-mails do I show them?
I have many medial reports  showing his many surgeries, and meds he is on. He has been taken to the hospital for over medication and mixing them. That was over 1 year ago.

How do I say the effects on our family without making it sound like a tactic?
The Mental problems compound an already bad situation.

hi OR. sorry it took me so long to get back to you. we can go off list with more of this if you want to. but to answer these questions for you, this is what I think.

first of all, i want to explain why this seems like such an issue for me, just beucase, im sure people are wondering why im making such a big deal out of it.. very quickly, im an advocate... right before all of this happened, i was getting ready to go to law school, so that I could advocate for women who had been in abuse situations. (and were not believed or listened to

needless to say, that would have severely challenged my fathers need to define me as a failure, so im pretty sure thats part of his crusade against me, is to prevent me from getting to school, which so far, he is doing. but he cannot stop me from being an advocate. my focus has switched to this  issue becuase, after he took my kid, and i found out what a mess things were in the family court system, it just seemed kind of appropriate.

additionally becuase he also took me away from -my- mother by manipulating the system, (which he did) it is an issue that is -very- very near and dear to my heart. i feel i need to help change things, before he takes my granddaughter, you know.

OR national organisation for women let me to chair a task force on it; and myself and other task force chairs from other states recently got together and lobbied at the national level, to form the first functioning national advisory committee on family law.

(so cant say i havent been channeling SOME of this stuff!) we're in the process of doing a nationwide courtwatch right now,  and we are learning a LOT in the process. ive talked with women from all across the country and heard a -lot- of stories!

SO all that being said, that is why im talking about all this, the way that I am. its an issue ive been learning a lot about, lately.



with all that said, this is what i would tell you: besides looking at those websites, which are the foremost people in the field right now,  and learning what you can from them, my number one thing to say would be, GET THE RIGHT LAWYER. it will solve 9/10 of your problems at once.

mum's totally right, its a game, the lawyers and judges all know each other and many of them are abusers and n's themselves.  you need a lawyer that knows how to manipulate all that in your favor.

the best advice i can give, is look for a lawyer like you would look for a plastic surgeon. ask everybody you can, for -references-, someone with a good track record, of doing well for women.  

the right lawyer will know the tricks and games, and be able to use the evidence you have in the proper way.

theres a million attorneys in los angeles..... the worst thing a lot of people do is kind of assume that each of those lawyers will be equally talented and committed and skilled and invested, and its sooooo not true.  a very very small percentage has the inclination, skill, talent, training to do well in cases like this. so, you have to search them out. if you are able to choose the correct lawyer, they will know how to use what you have, in the proper way.

thats my honest best advice I can give...... there are different ways you can ask around to find a lawyer that will know what to do, with what you have.

Him staying behind in CA , not able to afford to live.
Will a Judge say he can do what ever he wants stay where he can't afford to live making me pay him support, providing him travel or for our D to travel to see him? Im asking for supervised visits and he would come here to see her.

The Judge may not see the true picture and award him for being hurt not able to work. He will look good in court bring his cane, I hope it will back fire on him.

i guess we can take this to private mail to to go into more detail if you need to.

im sure he will give a sob story and try to make you pay for everything. a lot of women get stuck paying for their ex. competent lawyers are out there. the women's groups may have information on finding one.

im not trying to sound like a commercial for lawyers but, its true that you wouldnt get plastic surgery from just anyone.. its good to be just as choosy with your attorney if you can...

i know you are looking for your lawyer right now. finding one with a track record of success in womens issues, who knows these mazes and has been through them before, and been successful, i think would be a real good place to start..

here are those sites again -


<http://www.kourtsforkids.org/>

<http://www.mothers-of-lost-children.com/>

<http://www.protectiveparents.com/>

<http://www.smalljustice.com/>

<http://www.canow.org/issues/family.html>


theres a ton of links on them and all kinds of very good advice..  it should definitely put you ahead of the curve that most people go into this with..

you can talk with me privately, if theres anything more specific i can help with.

having the right lawyer is like a key for a lock. your info is the lock. without the right key (lawyer) the lock will not be able to work for you. with the right key, your info will have a much better chance.

ok... good luck.... im wishing you well!  i guess i will turn on my private messages thing in case anyone wants to do that. i havent had it on til now.

very best of luck OR. ttys
Anna

[d's mom]

Anna and OR:

It continually amazes me the lengths Ns will go to to "win".  Even in the face of what is good for your childen.  It is not about the children at all it is about "winning" and being "right".  

My heart and prayers are with both of you.

thank you Patz. that helps me. its very very sad the way some people are. thanks a lot for the wishes. :}
Anna

[Anonymous]

Anna:

I read your post to OR.  You sound very focused on what your doing as an advocate.  I am very thankful there are people like you willing to "stand up" and monitor what is going on in the family courts.  You are absolutely right about it being a "good old boy" thing with the judges and laywers.  Most are Ns as you pointed out.  I was an advocate for disabled children in Alabama and the same is true with Central Office personnel and school systems.  I always went in asking for the moon and knew what I was willing to settle for.  Do you think this is the same with the court systems?  

At any rate please continue to do what you do because it is important.  I can see the genesis of your discipline is at the behest of your N father.  This really must grate on his nerves with you being "so in his face" with your advocacy.  What a laugh.  He gets to think about this every day while he watches you.  Poetic justice at work my dear.

Keep on keeping on.

Patz

[Anonymous]

Hi OR and Everyone:

OR:  How are you doing through all of this?   Hope you're sailing on down that river!!!

I would add to Anna's advice, which I think is right on the mark, that what might help you too, is to learn the laws that apply to your case.  Look up your Family Law Act, if there is one and see if you can't get some understanding of your own rights within the law, the judges options, the rules of evidence, etc.

My experience is not going to give lawyers a good name, so I won't go there.  Necessity and my own desire to understand and persevere caused me to get as much info as I could, re the laws and my situation, and make use of them.  It did pay off in a very big way but it was hard work and took time.  Maybe this is/is not feasible for you?

Anna:  Good for you for channelling and making a difference!!  Bravo!!
No matter what your father thinks, the world is a better place because of you.

GFN

[OR]

Anna, Patz, GFN,

Thank you all for giving me hope, in a desparate situation.

Anna, your pulling at my heart strings, thinking how you have taken a negative part of your life to such a positive level.

I want to make my D feel safe. we expect our parents, doctors, lawyers, judges, spouse, etc, to make us feel safe.
When this fails to happen our whole world is shaken.

I don't feel safe with my H, I worry if a judge will grant me saftey for my family. Doctors can't make me feel safe about an unsafe situation, because of the privacy laws.

Saftey, it may not cost any money, it demands some understanding how to achieve, but all of these important people that affect our lives have difficulty making it a possiblity for eachother.

I'm not asking for much more than peace of mind. I think if the N's in the world could start with a simple idea it would make life less stressful.


Enough about it, I faxed over my OSC, still waiting for them to get me a telephone hearing date. earliest time would be at the end of June.

My H really thinks my D will be at his door soon. He tells me how he has doctor appointmens to schedule and he needs to know now. I just ignore him.

My D wants to have an "end of school" party and making plans.
She wants Nepolian Dynomite theme, Tater tots, party stuff along with the movie.
I mentioned my H wants her to come back there to live, she said no way.

I don't talk about the legal things going on. I know the judges expect mediation between the parents. I sent attachments related to money,
an e-mail saying he was left broken, house bound and homeless.
My Friend tells me she saw him riding his bike.
On his web site he mentions he goes to the beach and rides his bike.
He sends our D shirts from the beach so I tend to believe he is up and about.

I will be doing some more research on my options.  thank you all

Thanks OR

[Anonymous]

Hi OR:

Glad you're doing your best to keep plugging along at this.  Things will get better!  They will, OR!

You've got the meat of your statement for the judge (the essentials) right here, in this thread.

You have a perfect right to not only want but to cry out/make clear you must have/require..............

safety for yourself and your daughter.  Period.

1.  One of the driving forces behind you leaving your husband, I think this was in one of you original posts to the board............

He threatened to kill you with a gun.

You MUST MAKE IT CLEAR TO THE COURT THAT YOU DO NOT BELIEVE YOUR DAUGHTER WILL BE SAFE IN THE CARE OF SOMEONE WHO MAKES SUCH THREATS. YOU BELIEVE HE IS CAPABLE OF SUCH AN ACT AND IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO ASK THE COURT TO PROTECT YOUR CHILD.

Supervised access will be safer.  This is what she needs.

2.  

I mentioned my H wants her to come back there to live, she said no way.

If there is any way possible for her to tell the judge this herself, it will carry much more weight.  This could be in the form of a letter, in person, on video, preferably more than one media.  Backed up BIG TIME by objective adult witnesses (counsellor, minister, lawyer, teacher, youth group leader, etc, as many as possilbe).

You MUST STRESS THAT IT IS THE COURT'S RESPONSIBILITY TO ENSURE AND PROTECT THE RIGHT OF SAFETY AND WELFARE OF YOUR CHILD, WHICH INCLUDES HER EMOTIONAL WELFARE AND THESE ARE THE TWO THINGS YOU ARE MOST CONCERNED WITH AND INSIST ON.  (Her safety and welfare).

Due to her age, she can have a strong voice.  She is not an infant or a toddler or a little child.  She is an adolescent with her own level of maturity, her own wishes and feelings, which must not be discounted or that in itself ....would be abuse.

Hope this helps a little OR.  I know all the N stuff seems essential but if you ask me it isn't the deciding evidence.  His threatening behaviour and her wants and needs are the two most compelling issues, imo.  All behaviours that indicate he is unstable, unsafe, capable of violence, and yes......show clearly that he lies in documents......are good evidence.  All those who can varify these behaviours are important too.

Hang in there OR.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

GFN

[Anonymous]

OR:

I can only second what GFN has written.  You will make it.  Just keep on keeping on.  

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your D.  You are doing a great job.............you only have to look at your D and know that.  Patz

[OR]

Anna, I wanted to let you know I am just sick to read about the injustice to the mothers in our country.

The stories I have read on the links you have provided make me sick and afraid for my D. She woke up today having dreams about what school she was going to, rather or not she was in CA.

I have sent in my response to the divorce, showing my income. He claims only 700.00. He has received it and replies to me, he will send them to his legal aid lawyer.

In the response I let them know I did believe he had been receiving other income not reported on the divorce papers. He wants me to pay for everything and expects me to pay for flights for our D to CA.

I have a letter from his brother explaining how we made arrangements
over a 1yr ago to plan the move here, but H decided not to come.

My interpetation of the move was my H for the past 5 years on SSI little money, forced us to move where he could get help from his Doctor brother, a safety net for the family and my transfer to our Corp. office to
help with his negative income. CA cost of living in out of my reach.
His future health problems with RA,MS, doomed to a wheelchair on heavy medications and would not be able to take of himself.
would make all this on my shoulders.

Now the reality is he received a back settlement a few months before the move and wanted my D and I to stay in CA. He wanted to take his money move to Dallas start over. His brother said not without his family.
My H then tells me he would shoot me then himself if I move to Dallas.

He is on lots of strong Meds and an N to boot, He now has this money but claims he has none. I have now said he has lied to the court but wonder if I'm looking negative to have metioned it.

He has also lied about never having a custody case, when 10 years ago he was on Disability and meds and tried to take our daughter out of state to his mothers. He had locked me out of the house and took our D.
His mother helped me with finding him and the police brought her back to me.

I kicked him out for a few months while he was left homeless to stay with an outreach for 2months. He was taking too much meds appeared to have a drug problem. He got a job soon after and until 5years ago had been working.

I was going to file for Divorce 10yrs ago but had him sign a paper I would have physical and leagal custody of our D until 18teen I have a copy and attached it to the income statement.

This Document  was so old and he has been in the household, so not sure about how legal and binding it is. They make you mediate with eachother but nothing is forever. I have only attached this without explaining the details. He knows the datails and I never talked about the form until now. I guess I believed it was to old and truely wanted to make our relationship work. I didn't tell him I still had this so he would be off guard.

(This agreement to have him back in the house was 10years ago before I knew he was N)

He did sign it and there is a part on one of the current  Divorce forms that ask about any reason to believe he would ever take her out of state or at any other time as there been a case for custody filed. He has said NO.

On his web site I read where he would take his money to another country and want to put our D in an american school. This may be something in the future when she goes to collage, I don't know. He does have money and if he thinks he must show it even after he lied, then I may take a chance he would have the ability to take her back to CA.

He got this form and wrote me saying
"OK guess this means she won't be coming to town until Nov.,
( the scheduled time of the hearing for divorce)
" Give him 5 weeks notice when she comes to town."

He would be asking for custody. From reading these web sites  all he needs to do is ask and he may just get it, with me paying for it all.

I will be sending over the Order to show cause and would request total custody based on my income, I however made a fuss that he was hiding money so I won't be subject to future spousal support, having to pay for her visits even tho at the last minute he said for me to go but without our D.
Claiming he had money hidden  may have been the wrong thing. I want him to answer for his lies, but if I don't contest and only get him to be honest that he would not be the better parent, let him keep his money because he is such an N and all this fuss about our D is to get her SSI.

I would rather have her with me  and struggle but may be subject buy the courts to pay him when he does have his settlement  money.
He decided not to come to Dallas not that I wanted to leave him at the time.
I expected to divorce here in Dallas where he could be near family, we would have the ability to have joint custody, thinking we could both afford to live and he would have family support.

If mediaiton is without lawyers, why get a lawyer to take the little money I have.
Mediation is a must, and is provided with the OSC.
He shows he lies. I have lots to prove his lies, however the judges have a short review without putting overwhelming evidence infront of the judge, I must be selective.
I think he should be supervised but so tossed between the saftey, the alienation of him, the lies and money problems.

I don't know what Im asking you other than from a court viewing at a glance should the lies be brought to the surface?
would I look like the bad guy to review old information.
Showing HIS family supports me and I tried to get us here to keep us somewhat together even pending a divorce once in Dallas.
I didn't know about the money he had and this is why he didn't want to move with his family.

Any advise from all you know would help me on a direction, as I must move quick on this.

[Anonymous]

Hi OR:

Maybe Anna will be able to answer your questions better than I.  My best guess is to insist on the safety and welfare of your daughter (and yourself) as being priority.  If you can prove he has hidden money and expose his lies, it is another strike against him...showing dishonesty, irresponsibility and the fact that he/his word cannot be trusted.  I think the fact that he took your child, once before, and the police had to retrieve her should be pointed out to highlight the idea that he could try this again.  Keep saying that you want the court to protect your daughter.  He is unstable......at the least.

It is scarey to think of the worst things that could happen and maybe it's good that you're doing some of that and making a plan but....the chances are that things will not go that badly and you will get full custody/protection.

Think and believe this will happen.  Focus on being very calm and collected and clear with the facts.  Do you have a lawyer?

(((((((OR and D))))))

Still praying for you.

GFN

[OR]

GFN, You are always so kind to respond.

Today SSI told me my H had written them to hold the SSI payments for our D.
He said he had custody of her he gave them the court REF. number for the Divorce. The courts have nothing from him for custody.

She let me fax her the Prior old custody case papers to her, I had the school resend her enrollment papers. When the OSC comes thru I will send the temp custody papers to her.
The Divorce papers were started a month after we moved here so they needed to make sure she was still here.

The SSI rep told me I would need court orders to know the amount of money my D received.
Today I re-faxed over the OSC, I made the request for an Audit of these payments. I may not ever see any of the money, but I want his lies exposed and accounted for. on OSC I asked that the court would not allow him to hold the account.

I also decided to send a written letter from my SIL, telling them we were planning on the move and he knew about it, but decided not to follow.

I sent a copy of the last print out of the Medications he is taking.
it's a page long with morphone and other strong meds

I sent with the OSC a court form, that  asked for any prior custody case
it allowed for a number and name of the court. ( I already sent the actual form with the divorce response )
I decided to leave it with just the number, waiting for the time to go into detail about the police involvement and the fear he may try abduction.

There are more forms for all of this, I don't want to overwhelm the court, just looking for a court date earliest time available is July,
Im asking for a telephone appearance
I have to send my H  a copy of everything I sent the court, so I will let him wonder whats coming next.

He left me an e-mail and called our D to tell her how he was going live on WEB radio today; I guess he calls us, hoping we still care. The last thing I want to do is hear him on the radio. WHAT AN N.
I HOPE HE WAS BUSY ALL DAY, TO BUSY TO CARE ABOUT THE CUSTODY PAPERS.

The OSC demands mediation no lawyers for child custody. I don't have the money to spend on a lawyer I won't be able to use in court.

My MIL called my BIL, I had a chance to speak with her, she was very thankful I had stayed married to her son for so long but was happy I left him. His family has been very supportive of me and our D.
Through out  the years my H would not let me speak with his family very often. He lied so much I guess he didn't want me to talk with them in fear he would be caught in a lie.



Thanks for your thoughts it helps me just to get another perspective.
OR

[d'smom]

Anna, I wanted to let you know I am just sick to read about the injustice to the mothers in our country.

hi OR..... Ive been thinking about you.... its something, huh? i think its so useful to see what other people have seen and done...... then it isnt such a steep 'learning curve' once you are there. it isnt meant to be disturbing so much as to pre=arm you with knowlege... but, it is disturbing i know.

I agree dont be afraid though.. just be aware...

interestingly, something mudpuppy said really made me think: thers a -reason- why women are so roundly ignored in court - (other than the reasons i know) and i think he struck on it -  a lot of men are taught to just tune out anything women say, especially if they have any thought the woman is being 'hysterical' or emotional or any other thing that women are 'supposed' to do. very little makes a woman more emotional than the feeling she is about to lose her child and theres nothing she can do.  the only woman that will not get emotional at such a thought is so cold and detached that she probly isnt a good mother anyway! quite a catch-22.

i found that very intersting and i bet thats a big part of why women universally go into court and get the impression that everyone is tuning out everything they say.. i think they -are- tuning out everything they say...... cause of that sexism mudpuppy talked about..... ive heard horrible stories of what court officcials say about mothers behind their backs.. in one place there was a story where the kids would be taken right there in the courtroom, the mother would often dissolve screaming, they had a special cell where they would drag the women till she stopped crying. a -cell-. it was very cold....... that was standard procedure.. so what GFN said was a good thing to remember. (like always )

stay -ultra- rational (not saying you arent, just agreeing with GFN)  and focused on what you and your daughter want. in California you can be emancipated legally at 14, and the court is -supposed- to take kids opinions into account when they are 12. Im not sure how old she is - I need to read back in these threads again - but if she is 12 she should be able to tell the judge her preference and be considered.

He is on lots of strong Meds and an N to boot, He now has this money but claims he has none. I have now said he has lied to the court but wonder if I'm looking negative to have metioned it.

I really agree with GFN totally.... make up a few simple points and repeat them endlessly.

1) on a lot of medicines (show proof)
2) history of violence and witnessed threats (show proof)
3) you have reason to believe he is unstable (why)
4) you can provide a more stable environment (show proof)
5) your daughter wants to be with you (her statement)

I was going to file for Divorce 10yrs ago but had him sign a paper I would have physical and leagal custody of our D until 18teen  

that could be binding! good for you. that would save a lot of trouble. that might be the best thing you have!

they probably will not care that he lied about stuff. they never seem to care about that.  its helpful to steer away from anything remotely perceived as 'he/said-she/said'.

He would be asking for custody. From reading these web sites  all he needs to do is ask and he may just get it, with me paying for it all.

its so annoying. its so tragic. dog in the manger. theres one thing you could do - it could be in your power to ask that he be subjected to a bunch of evaluations or tests - for drug use, mental stability, etc or other thigns. if you have the ability to require he pass these evaluations and he fails them it could help you. it might be something you could petition for.

If mediaiton is without lawyers, why get a lawyer to take the little money I have.
Mediation is a must, and is provided with the OSC.

as far as i know .. mediation is not always waht you would hope.. when i had mediation it was only one meeting that took less than an hour. they asked what we wanted, saw we didnt agree, wrote that down, and that was it. then we went back to court. so it may not actually address any actual issues. sometimes it is just a formality. dont know if thats what would happen in this case.

I do have to say, it is very very tempting to save money..... but if you can borrow it or scrape it together somehow it could save a lot of trouble in that, if you are not properly represented, <and you are already at some disadvantage not being able to show up in person btw, it would be much better if you could afford somehow to go..>.. lets say he 'wins' the first hearing. then you will be in a position of continuing to fight, which will be much more expensive or impossible in the long run..... believe me i know you cant always get it..... sometimes its just impossible, but it -is- taking a risk, not having yourself represented.  

I have lots to prove his lies.....I think he should be supervised but so tossed between the saftey, the alienation of him, the lies and money problems.

judges dislike stuff that appears to be 'he said/she said'. the fact that he is on numerous medications is not up to debate. the fact he threatened all those people is not up for debate. the fact that your daughter will strongly state she prefers to live with you will not be up for debate. it wont look good for him that he lied about stuff but that is more dangerous slipery slope for you since 'lying' is subjective. the judge -may- be more likely to tune out that kind of stuff or hold it against you. i think that is your least powerful ammo right now.  judges dont seem to care that men lie. for the same reason that they dont listen to a crying woman. SEXISM!!!

my -guess- is that stuff that is more subjectively provable - and not appearing to be part of anything that was a spousal argument, is -less- likely to be interpreted negatively... ..so it might be good to use the other things first and leave the lying at the bottom of the list.

Showing HIS family supports me and I tried to get us here to keep us somewhat together even pending a divorce once in Dallas.

his family supporting you would be good. you could get notarised statements from everyone perhaps. If you have always been the primary caregiver its unlikely he will be given full custody just becuase he asks for it, if you have custody now, and have pretty much always had custody.........

you have her now, she wants to be with you, that is very good. stick with the fact that she is well adjusted and happy where she is and has a strong desire to stay where her friends and family are and all, and focus on that...............

get your points sorted out and keep pounding them clearly. dont focus too much on the lying id move more towards his history of witnessed behavior and requesting that he be evaluated. those would be my thoughts for now. it might be good to consult someone on how potentially binding that one contract is. if its binding - that could be a real help.

those are my thoughts so far. it might be good to prepare for her needing to visit him and being asked to split the cost. it might be reasonable to just resign yourself to that... in order to get away with primary custody... jsut some thoughts....

thers a site called 'findlaw' im pretty sure whre you can look up laws for yourself on stuff.
well.... hope things are going well..........:}}

sounds like you are doing well getting all the papers filed and stuff. i think you are doing great and staying focused very well.  
im keeping my fingers crossed for you guys for sure. im sure you will keep posting progress.
Anna

[Anonymous]

Hi Anna and OR,

I know of one judge who had an excellent reputation in civil court, but when he got to family court he had the reputation of nearly always siding with the father, supposedly because of some experience he himself had had in a divorce case. Unfortunately the law is sometimes less important than personalities.
A good attorney knows how to push a mother's buttons and make her look emotional and irrational and vindictive when all she is, is distraught she might lose her kids. Being stone faced despite the provocations is what's important. This is also true through all the preliminary stages, before you even get to court as well. Its no guarantee of victory but its better than the alternative.
And sad to say, but there are a large number of women and attorneys who have made it difficult for honest women. A lot of attorneys have made it virtually a standard policy to accuse the father of some type of abuse regardless of whether there is or not. And the man's attorney often comes into court with the same pre emptive charges. So now even courts that were willing to listen are dismissive of actual charges of abuse.

OR,
I don't know if you remember the cop show Dragnet, but Sgt. Joe Friday always said "Just the facts ma'am". And he was a really bad actor so he never smiled or showed emotion.
So, go into court and mediation like Joe Friday. He was a crummy actor but he would have made a good witness.  

mudpup

[OR]

Hey MUD and Anna, GFN.

Im still waiting for the court to get with me on a date for the temp custody.

I kept in mind to give the facts with supporting evidence.

Today I received an Insurrance Medical Questionare asking me to give them information regarding My H. I had to change from HMO to PPO
when I moved here to Texas, now they question a recent bill from my H in CA. I added this to the other things I have faxed over.

Some of the questions:  Who has custody of the covered child.
Is any one covered by Workers Comp. or Medicare,
What is the Case number and Dates.

These questions allowed me to submitt the Workers Compensation Medical Evaluation. It was the ONLY thing I had showing information they were asking for.
I had thought I was going to wait but wanted to take this as an open invitation to submitt through someone else asking for the information.

I asked the Judge if I could remove my H per his request.
My H said he would be receiving Medicare soon.

In this report my H talks to the examiner.
In his own words the Judge can read that this move to Texas to compensate for his lack of income was not something I made up.
Also, WC means a future settlement of some kind.
Now he can question what he settled for not me saying he received a settlement from A WC case. Now he has dates and names.

In this Evaluation report along with other descriptive words like, passive aggressive, Hypocondria, and other abnormal findings.
I would expect he would now need to review this without me saying
anything regarding Narrsisstic behavior.

Im asking the judge to review the questionare, to remove my H from my insurrance and how must I answer these questions regarding custody in the time frame given.

Later I will be looking into filing papers of possible abduction so he would be posting bond or whatever it takes to assure her safe return.  

I got another e-mail from H telling me how happy he is, he will be working for a local radio station. How GOD had a hand in all of this.
I am gald for him and had always supported him. I can't bring myself to respond to him. I hope he keeps busy so he will leave me alone.

He talks about bringing our D out to see the radio station and the cool equipment. How perfect it is for him and his physical limitations.

Anna I know you say to get ready to have our D fly out to CA to see him and accept paying 1/2 the cost. It may be just the way it is.
Later I will be looking into filing papers of possible abduction using the prior CASE from 10yrs ago.  he would be posting bond or whatever it takes to assure her safe return.  


OR

[mum]

OR; glad to see you are still hanging in there. You sound good, strong.  

I must have missed something, but what happened ten years ago?
It sounds like you have your ducks in line. Stay focused on what you want, not what you don't want.  I think my NOT doing that made a difference in my case....and I lost.  At one point I got overwhelmed and so upset that no one was noticing how abusive my ex had been and how TIRED I was of dealing with this.....how I was not going to be intimidated by him any more....ooooh boy.  That may have blown it for me.  My (inexperienced) attorneys at the time told me: that's good:righteous indignation and all....methinks they did not know what they were talking about!

In the year and a half since that time, I have learned to focus more on what I DO want, rather than what I don't.....and good things have come my way.  Probably because most people don't want to deal with someone who is upset!!  However justifiable it is!!!  You can still be focused on getting what you want.....just no need to be upset.  YOU WILL GET IT>
repeat that always to yourself.  TRAIN yourself to win.  

Do I sound like I am trying to Psych myself up? I am.  I head to court this week.  I am in a totally different frame of mind than the last time I went to court.  I am looking forward to it in a way.  "bring it on Sparky!!!"

Hang tough, girl.  I hope that what he signed long ago hangs him.....I think that paper might be the "golden ticket".
((((((or))))))))
mum