Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Good Description of the Problem
rosencrantz:
Hi October - I'm so glad you posted that positive message. In sharing each other's sad and painful tales, it's easy to get lost in amongst the negativity. Perhaps we need a thread for positive affirmations as a refresher in between posts!!!
R
CC:
here, here Rosen! We DO need more positive affirmations. I have been avoiding the board for a while during my pregnancy for this very reason. I liked your alternative ending October!
Karin:
Hi all,
From now on I'll be checking each invitation very carefully for details and then deciding whether I want to go or not rather than being seduced by the bright lights and fanfare!
I have to take responsibility to a certain degree for not reading the invitation properly and going to a party with a false expectation. And now that the party's over, I'm angry with myself for wasting a good Saturday night!
Cheer up everyone, we'll be OK!
October:
Thanks. I try to be positive when I can. Can't always. :oops:
So, do I agree to go away for a week with my very Nish family over Christmas, to celebrate my Nmum's 70th birthday, (= 70 years of inflicting hell on everyone around her) or do I stick to my original answer, which was that I am not well enough? (Which means really that if I go you lot will make me even more sick than I am already, lol!!!!!!)
I would like to go to protect my nephews (4, 8, 9) from all that stuff, but it will only be a partial protection, because I am as enmeshed as they are, only older and able to see what is happening. But is the cost too high?? And should I keep my daughter (10) well away, or let her see what kind of family 'we' have? She is relatively well vaccinated against the N behaviours, but if one or other of my nephews gets hit by my brother - as often happens - she sees that, and sees none of us stopping it, which I have found recently is abuse of the whole lot of us. If I am there I can spot the warning signs early on and deflect things, very often, so that the hitting doesn't happen. Not always.
Not so easy to sort out invitations in advance. :?
clara:
This thread is so moving.
I would like to add another reading suggestion that ties in quite nicely. It's a very old classic children's book called Dandilion. It is the story of a N-lion who receives an invitation to a party, to "come as you are." Of course Dandilion (who all readers here will recognize as having n-traits) just couldn't abide by someone else's rules, nor could he ever lower himself to everyone else's ordinarly level and just arrive at the party in his normal, casual attire. so Dandilion goes out and gets a fancy hairdo and new, expensive clothes. Trouble when he arrives at the door to the party though: His good friend the giraffe, who is throwing the party, doesn't recognize Dandilion in his new makeover and closes the door on poor Dandilion!
This is a wonderful children's story, to illustrate the importance of being yourself if you truly want to be accepted (er, into the party).
And yes, there is a happy ending for Dandilion: shortly after being bounced out of the party Dandilion gets caught in a ferocious storm (ah, the inner turmoil plays out). This causes Dandilion's fancy clothes to blow off and his hair returns to its natural state. Next page or so Dandilion is back at the giraffe's door, being welcomed into the party (just as he is!!) by good friend giraffe.
Can't remember the author's name but the book is a classic and can be ordered online or through any good book store.
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