Don't lay it ALL out. I've tried. They won't believe you. They won't believe anyone is as evil as your family.
no, i probably wasnt clear what i meant by 'laying it all out'. i dont mean ALLL..... gory details like..
you are right about the laundry list thing... i just want to in a detached way confirm a few suspicions that i know they already have... to get more people 'watching'. to get them to close ranks, and be more inclined to hold him accountable, which i think they would do. im thinking this might be the time to do it, while nfolks are on the defensive somewhat, and feeling scrutinised.
they have no loyalty to him...... they are all relatives of my mother, a close italian family, actually, and are -very- aware of what he did to her with the affair and the divorce... he is -not- well liked.... it wouldnt be any stretch at all for them to realize that there were also other things going on. a lot of them have told me they had suspicions. it was my uncle, my mothers brother, who gave me the $4000 to get that lawyer the first time. i think there is ground there to gain support, if done correctly.
i think this might be a good time, to let them in on some stuff.
Stick to what you have been accused of and ask the neutral ones where the evidence is.....
i agree.. but honestly- i bet they dont even know -that- much about it... our family is so divided, most of these people probably arent even aware this is happening at all.. i havent talked to many of them in 20 years. (he hasnt either)
There is tremendous power in the way these creeps have isolated you. It is standard operating procedure for Ns. It is tough to fight once your reputation is wrecked but it is worth the effort.
Just don't trash the N-uts.
no trashing. no arguing. im not even going to try to talk to anyone that i know supports him, like my brother. with those people, i wont even try. but these others, my mothers relatives, they dont care about bruce or respect what he says... they dont support him, most likely they dont even know whats going on.
the trick is to be very delicate and present it properly, i totally agree with that.
im working on a bit of a story for here too, that will explain some of my family dynamics... its tough to understand whats going on, without having some background. my family structure is fairly unusual... at least compared to what ive seen here... in terms of the extent of the alienation and schisms.... theres a huge amount of just flat noncommunication. our relationships are far more likely to be completely estranged with no communication at all, than to have communiation that is problematic. so theres a big need for opening lines of communiation.
i do agree, not too emotional, not dramatic. but they need to know whats going on in their family, to their relative... why ive been alienated, that it was his doing. i think if they were made aware, they would not approve at all. family is super-important to them.
thanks mudpuppy!
i really enjoyed your grouse story.
anna
